Alternate Ending for New Moon
by jaxidy
Summary: This story picks up in the toward the end of NM when Bella is trying to save Edward from the Volturi. This time she's not fast enough to get there first... This is going to break your heart... but Jacob's more. Please re-read ch.8 before reading ch.9
1. Chapter 1

So, if you remember in New Moon, Bella is running for her (and his) life toward the place where Alice saw Edward would be. It's a race against time and she's fighting the crowd…

…I leaped awkwardly over the opposite edge of the fountain, splashing water on anyone in range. I was so close, so close - my foot caught on the edge of the stone base and I went sprawling into the feet of the crowd. Some people shouted in complaint, I shouted in pain. My foot had twisted, making my shin hit the stone edge sharply. I looked down to see a rip in my jeans and blood oozing to the surface of a fresh scrape. Leave it to me to lie bleeding in the vampire capital of the world. Leave it to me the ruin everything. Leave it to me to be so slow, so clumsy, so human, so Bella.

I hurried to get to my feet. My ankle throbbing, my shin dripping. I couldn't stop now. I was gasping, sobbing. I gentle hand pressed my shoulder to hold me to the ground. A pair of unfamiliar blue eyes were kneeling toward me. A string of Italian followed, it sounded like a question but I didn't understand. There wasn't time. I pushed the hand out of my way, there was no time, no reason, to be polite.

"I can't, I don't…" I was sobbing, but the owner of the concerned eyes seemed to think it had something to do with my bleeding leg, "EDWARD!" I screamed helplessly into the crowd. And then the first chime sounded. The world crumbled. Too late, too late. The hand on my shoulder returned, more forceful this time. "No!" I screeched, slapping it away and trying once again to find my feet. It was useless. "EDWARD!" It was more of a sob this time. People were gathering around me. Looking concerned, asking me questions in a foreign languages. Pointing at my legs and motioning with their hands when they realized I didn't understand. "Stop!" I was screeching, "You have to move, I have to…I have to….EDWARD!" Without really thinking about it I began pushing through their legs, crawling uselessly toward the clock-tower. It was chiming for the third time, "NO!" I sobbed, "EDWARD, DON'T!" I couldn't see him, I couldn't save him. It would be my fault, it was all my fault. I hoped the Volturi would be able to smell me bleeding here, I hoped they would kill me next. I hoped Alice would see this and find a way to escape. I hoped Jacob would forgive me. I hoped all of these things, yet I'd never felt so hopeless.

The blue eyes were in my face again, their hand was back on my shoulder. "You must hold still, you are injured," a voice, a male voice informed me in a loud voice to carry over the chiming clock and in a thick Italian accent. I couldn't focus on his face, there was only one face I could see.

"No, I can't." I tried again to stand, using the hand on my shoulder as leverage. "Edward," I was gasping and crying, "Edward."

"We will find this Edward," The voice and the eyes were kind. Kind and stupid and holding me back. "But first we must get you some help, yes?"

"No," I crumpled in defeat as the last chime rang. "No, I can't help him, I have to help Edward, the sun, he's in the sun, I have to save him." I was sobbing, "I'm too late, I'm too clumsy, it's my fault. I can't, I didn't…" I choked on another sob, "He's in the sun."

The eyes squinted ever so slightly and then widened with what seemed like understanding. But that was impossible, nothing I said could make sense to this man. The eyes searched my face and then my audience. Without warning, he was scooping me up and pushing through the crowd. He was speaking to them in Italian and they were parting. A couple of men in red blazers had come to see what the commotion was. The blue eyed man was explaining something to them. I didn't try to get away. I closed my eyes in defeat and I wept… Edward.

I didn't open my eyes again until the light behind my eyelids changed and the air cooled and the world quieted. We were inside now. The blue-eyed Italian man had carried me here, away from the crowd, away from Edward. Was he already dead? They wouldn't kill him in a crowd of humans would they? They would take him somewhere, they would kill him in secret. A sob escaped.

"Hush," the man said soothingly. "We are safe now." He laid me on a low sofa in a dark room. I should've wondered who he was, I should've felt uncomfortable in a foreign country in a strangers living room. I was beyond feeling…

"You must tell me your name?" the blue eyes were looking into mine again.

It didn't matter. "Bella." I answered anyway. Bella, not a name, but a curse. He had once called me a magnet for trouble. He was right, but not trouble for myself. I hurt the ones I loved. I failed them.

"How is your leg Bella?"

I felt nothing, I was numb. I stared into the eyes mutely. I wished they were topaz. I wished they were black.

"Bella?" The eyes were frowning, "I can help you, but you must answer me."

"You can't help." I whispered.

"Maybe not," the man leaned back and looked down at my leg, "but if you don't let me try, we'll never know for sure."

I really saw his face for the first time. It was kind, like his eyes. His mouth was thin and wide, his hair was thick and black. He looked to be about thirty years old. "You can't help." I repeated, "It's too late."

"Too late for what?" He was calmly rolling up the leg of my jeans so it was out of the way of the cut.

"To save him." I didn't know why I was answering. I felt like I was out of my body, or like I was only a body. Like I could only speak and breathe and live, but not feel. I didn't want to feel…

He was dabbing something over my leg. It stung. It was nothing compared to the agony…

"Save him?" the man didn't look up he just kept working over my leg. "From what were you trying to save this Edward?"

"From himself." I didn't realize the truth of these words before they were out of my mouth. It was true. Only he would feel a guilt so acute that he could not go on with it inside of him. A needless guilt that could not be explained.

The man looked up sharply, as though that wasn't the answer he was expecting. Then just as quickly he turned back the my leg and asked, "What did he do?"

I shook my head. I couldn't explain.

"Did he go into the sun in crowd?" It was a strange question.

I just stared at him and he met my eyes. Eyes that seemed to know something about Edward in the sun. Impossible eyes.

"He was going to." I whispered.

"Ah." The man nodded knowingly. "And in doing so he would be…" the man paused and a crease appeared between his eyes, as though he were concentrating, choosing his words carefully, "revealed?" he finally finished.

I didn't answer. Apparently I had injured my head more than my leg when I fell. Maybe I was beyond understanding. How else could I explain this man's questions. It was like he knew…

"Bella," He took my hand and smiled understandingly when I didn't answer. When I just stared at him in shock. "My family has lived in this city for nearly 300 years. Many, many, generations. It has been enough time for us to become very… aware of our surroundings… of our neighbors." Again he was choosing his words carefully. His eyes were darting around the room, lingering at each window. "Of course, we can't share our suspicions, they cannot be discussed. I don't know why you are involved with this Edward who cannot be seen in the sun-" He put his hand up when I opened my mouth to speak, "I don't want to know. I want to help you Bella, as much as I can without getting mixed up with these people of stone."

I gasped.

He just nodded and squeezed my hand, his suspicions confirmed


	2. Chapter 2

My hours that felt like days with Lazzaro were excruciating. He did his best to make me comfortable, as though it were even possible. He tried to assure me that everything would be alright. He asked me a lot of questions, always speaking carefully and holding his hand up if he thought I was going to tell him more than he wanted to know about, the people of stone, as he had called them that first day. He seemed confused by the depth of my sorrow, by my relationship with Edward, by my coming to Volterra in the first place.

I didn't cry anymore. I hadn't known about this emotion that was so deep and devastating that it could render it's bearer incapable of tears. It was beyond grief. It was beyond sorrow. It was beyond loss. It was beyond description, beyond naming.

"You must get home." Lazzaro told me after picking up my plate of the dinner he had made for us. I hadn't even looked at it.

"Yes." I agreed while another wave of dread washed over me. What would Charlie do? I had deserted him when he needed me. I should have been home putting him back together. Instead I was half a world away falling apart. Broken again, this time beyond repair. Not even Jacob could make patches big enough to cover this hole. Not even Jacob could make sunshine strong enough to penetrate this dark.

"I don't think you should travel alone," Lazzaro walked back into the living room from his small kitchen.

"I have to." I replied. I hoped desperately that Alice was already on her way back to her family. I hoped she would fulfill her promise to Jasper. I hoped that she would come to me in Forks and let me tell her how sorry I was. I hoped that if I escaped the Volturi, the Cullens would kill me themselves, for killing their brother. For killing their brother. For killing Edward. Edward was gone.

Edward.

"Bella," Lazzaro knelt down by my sofa and again took my hand, "have you any reason to believe that my neighbors are aware of your presence in this city?" "Neighbors" was our unspoken code for the Volturi. I wondered how much this man really knew about the Volturi, about the existence of vampires. I didn't think I would ever find out, he seemed to think it was a dangerous topic of blunt discussion.

"No," I answered his question. "If they know about me, they think that I'm dead. Edward thought I was dead." I chewed on my lip.

"But I thought you came here with him?"

"No, I came with his sister, we came to stop him from-"

Lazzaro put his hand up. "I understand I think." He assured me, "Can we find this sister?"

"No," I took a deep breath, "hopefully she's already on her way home. Otherwise…" I let my voice trail off.

He seemed to understand.

"Where are your parents Bella?"

"My father is at home in Washington. I live with him, and my mother," I swallowed hard. Oh how I wanted her right now, "My mother is at her home in Florida I think."

"They let you come to Italy alone?"

"No, they don't know that I'm here. I left in sort of a hurry."

Lazzaro released my hand and sat back on his heels. He looked lost in thought for a moment.

"I think it would be wise," he spoke after a long moment, "for me to escort you back to your country. If you are alright to stay with me for a short while, we will leave as soon as I acquire a pass-port. I do not think it wise for you to go alone, even if my neighbors don't know you're here."

I just nodded. Grateful for the assistance. I was vaguely aware that under different circumstances, I might have found it comforting to know another human who knew something, however little, about vampires.

"Now it is late," Lazzaro stood up. "You will be comfortable here on my sofa?"

I glanced at the window and saw that it was getting dark. Twilight.

I nodded even though I dreaded being alone. I dreaded this, my first night in a world where Edward no longer existed.


	3. Chapter 3

Alice

I'd spent enough time with Edward to realize that it's possible to think in whispers. To think quietly, to keep secrets even from those who have the ability to hear your thoughts. I knew a lot of it had to do with Edwards determination to give us all privacy. Much of the time he stayed out on purpose. But sometimes, it was more than that. I could have secrets from him, if I thought quietly enough, he wouldn't hear me. Since Bella had come into our lives, I'd tested this theory more than once. There were secrets about Bella's future that I'd protected very carefully, determined that Edward would not interfere.

I'd seen his decision to leave her in Forks and I didn't try to sway him. I went along with his choice, because I saw that it would fail. I saw that after a short year or so he wouldn't be able to stay away and he would go back for her. I saw them sitting in her room and her telling him that she couldn't live without him anymore than he could without her. I saw her convince him that the only future she could accept was one where she became a Cullen. I saw him agree…

I knew he had to leave her at first. This was so that when the time came for Bella to become one of us, he wouldn't be able to wonder if it would've been better for her if she tried human life without him. This was Bella's future before Jacob Black.

I had honored Edward's request that I not look for Bella's future after we left. I felt confident in the one I already knew would come to pass, though I never let him see it. It seemed silly to pack up and leave, only to return and pick up where we left off a year later. But it was only one year, to our kind, practically no time at all. If it was part of getting Bella for a sister in the end, I was willing to it, and I was willing to hide it from my family, especially from Edward.

I was so sure of Bella's future that maybe I was lax. Maybe I should have went against Edward's wishes and checked on her once in a while. Who knows what I would've seen, but maybe there would've been something. Some clue that things were changing. Maybe the future I had come to depend on wouldn't have been as clear. Maybe it wouldn't have had to come to this.

This being me dragging Bella halfway around the world to keep Edward from overreacting to something that hadn't even really happened. I was once again trying to keep my thoughts in whispers. I knew we were close enough now that he was in range of my thoughts. I knew it was vital to my plan that he not hear me until he saw Bella. That she was alive, and perfect, and beautiful as ever. I knew that until he saw her for himself, he would write my thoughts off as lies, and maybe carry out his plan in a hurry taking away some of our precious time.

It looked like we would make it. Bella was running for him even now. I saw her scream his name and try to push him back into the dark. I saw him smile, obviously thinking she was some kind of ghost. Then I saw the realization cross his face, they would look at each other for a moment and then the Volturi would come. He would protect her. I would show up just in time as long as I parked the car….here!

I hid the car in a dark alley-way shadowed by the closely placed buildings. If I kept to the shadows I saw that I could make it to Edward's alley without encountering the bright sunlight…

Something changed.

I saw her decide to use the fountain in the center of the square as a short-cut through the crowd. Bella, Bella, Bella, no! She would trip. She wouldn't get there in time.

It would happen in seconds, there was no time, and with the sun overhead, no way, to get there in before it happened. But. she would be okay…

Edward wouldn't.

I had maybe two minutes.

My cell phone was at my ear in an instant, I quickly told Carlisle all that I saw, some of it even as it was unraveling before me. There was no time to make a plan with him We would have to trust each other as we had so many times before. We would each do our individual best to save the ones we loved. I told him I would go straight to Edward, I told him where he would be able to find Bella… That was all there was time for. I hung up the phone and ran.

I let my thoughts run rampant as I flew toward the clock-tower. I screamed them at him. Everything I'd carefully concealed over the last several months, everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. I sent him pictures of Bella. Standing beside Jacob in her kitchen… gasping as she realized the weight of my vision… the determination in her eyes when I told her she had to save him… sleeping on the plane… speeding to Volterra.

_Please Edward, please, she's alive. I wouldn't lie to you, she's alive and she's here and we're all in trouble…_


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't fall sleep. Sometime around one in the morning the tears found me again and the force of them was staggering. I couldn't breathe. I wasn't sure if it was because I didn't want to, or if I really couldn't but either way I was suffocating and nobody cared. Especially not me.

Lazzaro heard me and came in. He scooped me up so there was room for him to sit and then he seated me next to him on the sofa. He gently pushed my head down between my knees and soothingly rubbed my back. "Breath Bella," he ordered in a soft voice, "It's alright, just breath." Those words brought a new force to my tears. Forcing memories on me that I thought should've killed me from the reliving of them.

I couldn't go on without Edward. I had tried. I was tired of trying. The only thing that had gotten me through the last six months was knowing he was still out there somewhere, knowing that he existed. It felt as if even the knowledge that he was gone should've stilled my heart, should've ended me.

I had broken the only promise I had ever made him. I had been reckless and stupid. The consequences were more than I could bear. I remembered a conversation we had in the hospital after James where I had told him that one reason I needed to be like him was so that we could be equal, so we could save each other equally. Here had been my chance and I had failed him. I wanted to die. I wouldn't. I couldn't do that to Charlie. Besides, it would be too easy. Carrying this with me would be the worst punishment I would find. Bearing this guilt would be unbearable. Unbearable and just.

When I was only gasping in tearless sobs Lazzaro pulled my shoulders back up to sitting position and put his arm around me, pulling me in so I was supported by his shoulder. When the sobs quieted to hiccups hours later he finally spoke.

"I am so sorry."

I didn't answer.

Early morning light filtered through the curtains when Lazzaro finally moved beside me. He unwrapped his arm from around my shoulder and eased to his feet. I stayed seated with my arms wrapped around my knees, trying desperately not to think. He silently walked into the kitchen and began making the sounds of cooking breakfast.

For the first time since I got there I noticed my surroundings. Lazzaro's apartment seemed small. The living area was a small square room with three tall skinning windows along one wall. There was an old wooden chair with shabby cushions in one corner next to a bookshelf full of thickish books. There was a small television sitting on top of what seemed to have once been a desk. The coffee table in front of the sofa I'd been using had a couple of pictures on it. One of a chubby little girl with bright blue eyes sitting on a tire swing laughing. The other was a family picture. Lazzaro, looking a little younger, sitting beside a pretty woman with long brown hair. Sitting next to the woman was the same little girl of the first picture, older, but still sort of chubby. It looked like a happy family. I wondered what happened to the woman and the little girl. There was no evidence of them living here now.

I needed to find the bathroom so I rose and walked toward the only hallway I could see. There were three doors in the narrow hallway. The first seemed to be Lazzaro's room, there was a twin bed pushed against one wall under a window. It was cluttered with clothes and books, reminding me of my own room. I didn't hover long in the doorway. I moved on to look behind the next door, not wanting to get caught looking nosy. I found what was behind the next door more interesting. The walls were painted a light lavender. There was another twin bed in this room, but this one was centered against one wall, the bed neatly made, with a dark purple bedspread. The furniture was all painted white. There were lots of little knick-knacks on shelves and on the desk that looked like they would belong to a little girl of 10 or 12. The neatness of the room was a sharp contrast to the dim clutter of the rest of the house.

"My daughter Alessa's room," Lazzaro's voice was close behind me. I jumped.

"Sorry to startle you." His smile was kind as he surveyed the room, "She is twelve and lives with her mother in France. She comes here for her summers."

"I saw her- her picture in the living room. She's beautiful."

"Yes, she gets that from her mother."

"I, um, I didn't mean to be nosy, I was looking for the, uh, the restroom?"

"Right through the this door here." He smiled and pointed to the last door in the hallway. "And there will be breakfast waiting in the kitchen."

"Thank you." I hurried into the bathroom. When I was done washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was ratted in tangled nests all over my head. My eyes were swollen and my clothes were dirty from crawling across the stone… I didn't finish the recollection, it was too painful. I looked down at my ripped jeans to wear the small cut was bandaged. It didn't hurt, or maybe it did, but there were other things that hurt infinitely worse. Things that couldn't be seen from the outside. I didn't bother to try to fix my appearance, it didn't matter.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down before a plate of eggs. I didn't feel hungry, but after all of Lazzaro's kindness, I didn't want to offend him. He sat across from me, watching me carefully, but pretending not to. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"Thank you." I looked down at my plate, "For breakfast, for everything. I'm, I'm sorry about last night."

"Don't apologize Bella," I couldn't look him in the eye. "I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I am glad to help you."

We ate in silence and I returned to the living room.

My eyes opened to a knock on the door and I realized in the sudden light that I had fallen asleep on the sofa. I heard quiet footsteps go thorough the kitchen to the door. I heard the door-latch release and a man's voice giving Lazzaro an Italian greeting. He returned the greeting and there was a ruffle of papers. Lazzaro spoke again and closed the door. There was a moment of silence and then the footsteps returned through the kitchen, into the living room, then he was kneeling beside me.

"Bella." He patted my shoulder and I focused on his face. He was so kind. "This came for you." He put a heavy parchment envelope in my hand. I sat up and rubbed my neck. I felt sore everywhere, especially my eyes that were trying to blink away the sleep. No, especially my heart…

Alice? Of course she must've seen me here. The fact that she wanted to talk to me despite what I'd done brought new tears to my eyes. I tried to open the envelope with shaking hands. The parchment was thick and hard to tear. Lazzaro gently took it out of my hand, opened it and handed me the letter inside. It was hand-written on the same parchment the envelope was made of. Looking at the hand-writing I instantly knew it wasn't from Alice. I'd seen her writing many times, on birthday cards and school papers. I'd never seen this writing before. My eyes quickly searched the bottom on the page for a signature, my heart thumping unevenly in my chest. The letter was signed;

My deepest apologies,

Carlisle

Carlisle? Apologies? My eyes returned to the top of the note and I read it as quickly as my eyes and mind would allow.

Dearest Bella,

How I wish I could spare you this. I would do anything for my family, for my children, and I place you in that category, but it is out of my hands. If there were any other way to save us, Bella believe me, I would find it. Alice has searched the possibilities and this is the only way.

The Volturi know of you. They have many talents and mind-reading, I'm afraid, is one of them. They have seen Alice's visions and they know where you are, they've seen into each of our minds and they know how much you know about our world. Such knowledge for a human is against their laws and they had ruled to destroy you immediately. Alice did her best, but could not sway them. I arrived, with Jasper and I asked them as a favor for me, for my years of friendship with them, to let us see you first. We think that we can come to an understanding. They uphold their laws fiercely, but at the core they are peaceful creatures. They will see that you are not a danger to them, how you have honorably kept our secret for so long. They are forbidding, but not uncompromising.

Alice is confident of our success, but there are still many small decisions that could obstruct our path. It is dangerous for us all, but for you Bella, it is perilous.

To spare your new human friend, it would be best that the Volturi not come for you at his home. They will give you a chance to wait for them tomorrow at 7am in the shadow of the clock-tower. They have threatened that if you are not there, they will come after you and will not show mercy. If it were possible for you to run and hide, I would hide you, but it is not possible. They have trackers more deadly than James. This is the only way, you must be there. I will be there too Bella, I will go with them to meet you. I know how terribly frightening this must be, I wish you could be spared from this, but it is the only chance to save you, to save my family.

I called Charlie on the way here. I told him there was a family emergency and you insisted on accompanying Alice home. You didn't want her traveling alone. If you call him, please use that excuse, I don't want Charlie to get mixed up in this mess. The Volturi are very thorough, if they suspect he knows anything at all they will go after him as well.

Bella, when you faced James, you showed a bravery beyond anything I have ever seen. Your courage will help you now and you will not be alone. I'm sorry you have to go through this, Bella, more sorry than you'll ever know.

My deepest apologies,

Carlisle


	5. Chapter 5

Lazzaro was kneeling before me and couldn't see the words in the letter. I was sure he'd been watching my face. I wished I would have been aware of my expression. It was crucial not to alarm him. I focused on arranging my face while I pretended to still be reading. My hands should've been shaking harder than before, but for some reason I felt more in control. Of course I would go to meet the Volturi. If it was the last thing I could do for his family I would do it without hesitation. If I died… to die now would be a relief.

I arranged my mouth into something of a smile. I was glad Lazzaro hadn't known me very long and had never seen me smile. Maybe he wouldn't see the strain behind it, perhaps he wouldn't see it wasn't real. Holding the expression carefully in place, I folded the letter and finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"Good news?" He seemed to believe my face.

I sighed with relief and my smile became a little bit more genuine, "Yes." I smiled down at the letter and slipped it carefully into my pocket as I spoke. "My friend Alice, E-dward's sister, is still here and wants me to meet her tomorrow so we can go home." The lie rolled surprisingly easily off of my tongue, except when I had to say his name, and the place where my heart used to be faltered, along with my voice.

"How did she know where to find you?" He questioned not suspiciously, but with genuine curiosity. I had to remind myself that he knew something about what they were.

He smiled when I didn't answer right away. "Perhaps I'd rather not know?" He concluded.

I nodded. Vowing not to give him any information, however insignificant it may seem. I felt chagrin at telling him we were meeting tomorrow. I wished I'd told him we were meeting right away. I could've slept on a bench in the plaza, as if I were going to be able to sleep at all. The sooner I got out of Lazzaro's house, the better for him.

"What time is it?" I asked. The light coming in through the narrow windows had an orangey, afternoon glow. I must have been asleep for a while.

"Nearly six." Lazzaro rose to his feet. "I'm glad your friend got in touch with you. I would've been happy to accompany you home, but I was worried about how long it was going to take me to get a pass-port."

"I'm glad she did too," I also stood. As terrified as I should have felt at the prospect of soon being in the custody of the Volturi, I felt a strange relief instead. Soon I would be reunited with a large piece of my vampire family. I would be able to mourn with them. Maybe even die for them. I didn't fear the Volturi, the worst thing that could ever happen in my life had already happened. There was nothing they could do to me.

"Are you hungry?" Lazzaro began to walk towards the kitchen.

I was surprised to find that I was. I nodded.

"Would you allow me to take you to my favorite little restaurant here?" I realized he hadn't been walking toward the kitchen, but toward the front door on the other end of the kitchen.

I bit my lip. Surely it would be bad for me to leave Lazzaro's apartment with him. I didn't know how carefully the Volturi watched their city, but I was sure we couldn't be seen together. For his own safety. I looked down at my torn and dirty clothes. I shouldn't go out in public like this anyway.

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry." Lazzaro was also looking at my appearance. "Forgive me Bella, for being a bad host. I'm sure you would be more comfortable after a shower. You are very small for your age, and my daughter is very tall for hers. I'm sure we can find you something of hers to wear, though I'm afraid the only clothes she leaves here are her warm weather ones." He turned around and began walking towards his daughter's room. I followed, trying to think of another reason to prevent us from going out together.

He dug through a couple of drawers and handed me a gray tee-shirt and a pair of black running pants. "These are the only long pants I could find." He said as he led the way to the restroom. "The towels are under the sink. I will go and get us something to eat while you clean up. You like pasta?" Something about my "smile" had cheered him up immensely, or perhaps it was relief that he wasn't responsible for my safe passage back to the states anymore.

"Yes." I answered his question. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me Bella." He shut the door for me, and his footsteps retreated down the hall.

The tub was an old claw-foot one with brass fittings. I undressed, and unsure of what to do with my dirty clothes, I balled them up in the corner so that my underwear was buried out of sight. Lazzaro, trying to be discreet, had stuffed a pair of his daughters clean ones between the folded pieces of clothes that he handed me. I stepped into the steam and pulled the shower curtain around me. The water was almost too hot and the water pressure was intense. I didn't adjust anything, I just let the water beat at me. I focused on the little pinpricks of pain, and not on other thoughts, stronger pains. I washed slowly, focusing on each individual task. I did not allow my mind to wander.

I came out of the bathroom to discover that Lazzaro hadn't returned. I ventured into Alessa's room and found some clean socks. They, like the rest of her clothes that I borrowed, fit perfectly. I wandered out of her room and into the living area. I walked over to the bookcase and began reading the titles. There were a lot of books on mythology and some science fiction. The book that particularly caught my eye was Bram Strokers, _Dracula. _There were post-it notes sticking out of the top to mark several pages. I pulled it out and opened it to one of the marked ones. Then I flipped forward to the next. Every page that had a description of Dracula, or of vampires in general, had been marked. Some post-its had question marks on them. I came to one page that described how vampires slept during the day and only came out at night. On that page the post-it simply said, _"no". I decided that Lazzaro must know that his "people of stone" were vampires. He already suspected too much. The Volturi knew I was with him. I hoped their mind-reading skills worked the same as Edward's, so that they would have no effect on me. I didn't want them to know what Lazzaro knew. I hoped, after everything he had done for me, that I would be able to protect him. I put the book back and walked over to the sofa. _

_I hoped Lazzaro would be back soon. I didn't want this quiet alone time. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. There was face behind my eyelids. A perfect face holding a pair of liquid topaz eyes. I resisted the urge to snap my eyes open and escape the vision. I just let them fill with tears and I stared at the flawless memory. There was no escape from this, I didn't want to escape. As much as it hurt, I knew it was only a matter of time before the memory would blur and then be lost in my feeble human mind. I didn't know how I would survive that. I was already tired of surviving._

_The front door squeaked open and the smell of garlic wafted into the apartment._

"_Bella?" _

_I opened my eyes and wiped away the tears. I again tried to arrange my expression into something more pleasant. It didn't feel like I had it at all right. I focused on my voice before I spoke, willing it to be light, "I'm coming."_

_I stood and walked into the kitchen. Again I concentrated on my voice, "It smells wonderful."_

"_Yes, a good friend of mine owns the restaurant. It is the best fettuccini in the country."_

_He carried our plates over to the table and sat down across from me. I didn't taste the pasta as I placed bite and bite in my mouth and swallowed. Ignoring the future and feigning pleasantness was taking up all of my concentration._

"_Where are you meeting your friend?" Lazzaro asked after a moment._

"_In front of the clock-tower at 7am." I replied, trying to keep my voice even._

"_Would you like me to accompany you-"_

"_NO!" The word jumped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I tried to recover, "No, I don't think that's necessary. I'll be alright."_

_Lazzaro eyed me carefully and opened his mouth as if to say something. I met his blue eyes evenly. Silently willing him not to ask questions. After all, it was he who had been so careful in the beginning not to hear anything about the Volturi. _

_He seemed to understand my expression and closed his mouth, but continued to look at me. I forced a smile onto my face and pretended to focus on my dinner._

_Another long moment passed and the only sounds were the clanking of silverware as I ate._

"_Are you sure?" Lazzaro broke the silence._

"_I'm sorry?" My voice broke over the words._

"_Are you sure you're going to be alright?"_

_I took a deep breath and answered carefully, "I'm sure Alice will take care of me."_

_Lazzaro nodded, but his eyes were full of unanswerable questions. Unanswerable because he refused to ask them, knowing there was danger in the knowledge he sought._

"_Could I ask a favor?" I decided to change the subject._

_Lazzaro looked surprised, but nodded._

"_Could you help me call home? I want to tell Charlie, um, my dad, that I'm coming home soon." My voice broke slightly over the last part. I wondered if I would ever see Forks again. I wanted to talk to Charlie, maybe for the last time._

"_Of course," Lazzaro's smile was slightly strained, "Long distance can be difficult business."_

"_Thank you." I met his eyes, "For everything."_

_Lazzaro nodded and stood up with his empty plate. He looked at the clock on the wall. "If we wait an hour or two, it will not be so early in the morning there."_

_I had forgotten about the time difference. "Alright." I agreed._

"_In the mean-time," he turned from the kitchen sink to face me, "perhaps you will let me tell you a story…"_


	6. Chapter 6

I followed Lazzaro into his living room and when he sat in his scruffy chair, I took a seat on the sofa. I wondered what sort of story I would hear. From his demeanor I suspected that it would be a round-about way of explaining his suspicions about the impossible creatures in his city. He obviously knew his knowledge was dangerous. I wondered how he knew, and had a feeling I was about to find out. 

Turning in his chair he stared silently out of each of the windows through the thin window coverings, as if listening for an intruder. After a moment he turned back to me and smiled.

"My family has lived in Volterra for almost three hundred and fifty years. It's said to be the safest city in the world."

He paused, as if waiting for me to say something before he continued, to contradict him. I didn't say anything.

He reached over to his book-case and pulled out the copy I had handled earlier. The bookmarked copy of _Dracula. _

"Have you read this book?" He fingered the pages carefully as he flipped slowly through them. He didn't seem to see the words, his mind was far away.

"Not the whole thing." I answered. Before I met the Cullens, I'd had no particular interest in vampires. After I met them, knowing that the book, like most vampire stories, was almost completly inaccurate, it held no interest for me.

"Mmmm." Lazzaro closed the book and put it back. "I've read it many times, my uncle gave it to me."

I just nodded, still wondering where this conversation was going. 

"My uncle was very dear to me, he owned the book store and taught me how to run it. Did I tell you I own a book store?"

I shook my head. It seemed a fitting profession for him.

"Yes, it has been in the De Luca family since we first came to live in this city. Anyway, my uncle inherited it from my grandfather, and having no sons of his own, he taught me how to run it.

"There are many myths and stories about this city. My grandfather took a particular interest in the ones about," again Lazzaro's eyes darted to the windows and he swallowed. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he finally said the dreaded word, _"vampires."_

I was very aware of my face. I tried to hold on to the politely interested expression I had been wearing. I tried not to let anything else show.

His voice returned to the regular volume and he continued, "My uncle and I used to laugh at his superstitions. My uncle would say, "_Vecchio matto. _Crazy old man." Lazzaro was smiling at the memory, his smile slowly faded as he returned to the story.

"My grandfather died when I was 12, and my uncle and my mother were very, very sad. They went through his things and my uncle found a journal that belonged to my grandfather's grandfather. He seemed to be even crazier than my own grandfather. In several entries he talked about "the people of stone" who were cold and hard and lived forever. He claimed that our city was their home, but they lived all over the world. We never, at least _I _never, found out where he got these ideas, but he passed them on through our family and that must have been where my grandfather's superstitions came from. 

"My uncle took a particular interest in the journal, and once in a while he would do research to try to discover where these stories originated. He had a theory that the myths about my great-great-grandfather's 'people of stone' and the world's myths about vampires shared the same foundation. Though, he could never seem to prove it. There were many great differences. My grandfather's grandfather claimed that the 'people of stone' did not sleep during the day, though they could not be seen in the sun. My uncle became so obsessed toward the end that I took to calling him the same names he had teasingly called my grandfather.

"When I was 15, my uncle mysteriously disappeared. The same day that he had been planning a tour of the castle here in Volterra. He thought the answers he sought could be found inside the walls of the castle, in the places that the public were not allowed to go.

"When he didn't come back to the bookshop that day, I went to his house and found it empty. My mother reported him missing the next day, but after a six month investigation by the authorities, the case was closed.

"I continued an investigation of my own using my uncles notes and research. I decided that my best chance of finding answers would be to go on the same tour that my uncle had planned to go on. I had a feeling that he had disappeared inside the walls of Volterra.

"Even though I lived here my whole life, I had never been inside the castle. I took it for granted and it held no interest for me until my uncle's disappearance. They give daily tours, of only the ground floor. It is mostly an art exhibit, and a gift-shop. I knew my uncle had planned to see the towers and the rest of the castle, he planned to separate himself from the rest of the tour to explore more thoroughly. I would have to do the same thing. "

Lazzaro seemed to be shivering now in his chair. Goose-bumps were rising on my own arms.

"I found my uncle." He stated abruptly after a short pause. "I separated myself from my tour and climbed a staircase into a narrow hall with wood-paneling. I never made it very far into the castle. My uncle came through a doorway and came quickly toward me. I- I will never forget how he looked." Lazzaro took a shaky breath and most of the color in his face had faded away.

"He was so beautiful. His skin was pale and his face, though still recognizable, was altered so that he looked more like a sculpture than a man… But his eyes…" His own were closed as though he were trying to block out the memory. He couldn't seem to finish his description of his uncles eyes. He took a moment to recover and then he opened his eyes and looked at me. "I have never seen such terrible beauty."

"H-how did you get out?" I spoke for the first time since he had began his story. 

"If it had been anyone other than my uncle, I don't think I would have. He didn't come toward me, and he didn't seem to be breathing. 'Run Lazzaro!' even his voice carried the beauty, 'Get out of this place, go back to your mother and never come back here.' I was afraid of him, but I wanted to run to him. He was the closest thing to a father that I had ever had.

"'But, Uncle,' I took a step towards him and he leaned away from me, 'what happened to you? We thought you were dead.'

"He turned around as he spoke and went back through the door he'd come out of. But as he left he said, 'I am.'"

Lazzaro's eyes had been focused on the wall above my head but now they lowered to observe my face. Again I tried to keep my emotions beneath the surface.

"You are not bothered by this tale?"

"It is very strange." I answered quietly.

"Yes." Lazzaro agreed. "I left the castle and went home. I didn't tell my mother what I'd seen, there were parts of me that refused to believe it. That was the last time I saw my uncle.

"But about three years ago, I found this in my shop." He reached for the book again and opened it. He folded back the plastic cover and showed me what was written on the inside cover-

"_To my dear nephew on his 28__th__ birthday."_

_It was written very small in masculine cursive handwriting. _

"_My uncle wrote this." Lazzaro stated while watching my face. "I would know this writing anywhere. We sell used books too, you see, so it could have been anyone's, except that I know this writing. I believe he was telling me that he had become…one. Since the last time I saw him I have not pursued the knowledge that he sought, I am afraid of meeting the same end."_

"_That is very wise." I spoke carefully and emphasized each word. I didn't want him to ask me about my own associations with vampires._

_Lazzaro simply nodded, and set the book back on the shelf. "I think that book is mostly myth." He concluded after a moment._

"_Almost completely." I agreed._

_Lazzaro looked at me then and smiled. "Well, that is my scary story, how did you like it?"_

"_It was very interesting." I stated._

"_Have you heard a story like that before?" It was his roundabout way of asking if my story was similar._

"_Not exactly like that." I replied carefully._

"_But perhaps some of the characters are similar?" He pressed._

"_Perhaps." I didn't go into the details he was after._

_He seemed satisfied with my answer, and realized I wouldn't go any further. His eyes roamed to the clock on the wall. "Shall we call your father now?"_

_I felt my heart quicken, I didn't understand how it was still beating, and my eyes were suddenly hot. I fought back the emotions that were trying to escape and I clung desperately to my calm façade. It took me a moment to find and control my voice. _

"_Yes."_


	7. Chapter 7

The phone was finally ringing against my ear. My heart was beating erratically. My hands felt cold and numb. When I heard the voice on the other end finally answer, it was all I could do not to cry.

After Lazzaro helped me navigate through the complicated process of calling home, he left to give me some privacy. He said he needed to check on his shop, he'd left it in the hands of his staff for the last couple of days.

"Hello?" Charlie's voice cut through my heart, and I had to swallow a couple of times before I could answer.

"Hello?" He said again, less patiently. I could a hear a game playing in the background.

"Hi? Dad?"

"Bella? Is that you?"

"Yeah Dad, hi."

"Hey Bells, I've been worried about you."

"I know, I'm so sorry." I tried desperately to keep the tears from showing in my voice.

"It's alright honey, you were just being a good friend."

"But not a very good daughter."

"Don't beat yourself up, I'm alright. I've been over at Sue's quite a bit, and Billy and Jacob fed me last night."

_Jacob. _My heart died a little more.

"Carlisle told me about Alice's grandfather, he said they were pretty close. Tell her I'm sorry, and Esme, I know it's hard to lose your father."

I forced the words around the lump in my throat. "Yeah, she's pretty upset."

"Your note said that Edward was in trouble." Charlie said slowly, his voice turning sour around Edward's name, he would never forgive him for leaving. He didn't know there was no one left to forgive. He sounded confused, "What was that all about?"

"Oh!" I paused to get the volume of my voice under control and thought quickly. "Yeah, Rosalie was the one to call Alice. She was crying and the cell phone was cutting in and out. Alice thought Rosalie had said there was bad news about, about E-Edward, and then the phone died. Their grandfather's name was Willard, she just misunderstood." I hoped Carlisle hadn't given Charlie very much information. I didn't want to get caught in the lie.

"Oh." Charlie was quick to believe my story Then his tone changed into the one I was had gotten used to hearing in the months after Edward left. The careful tone, the one that was afraid to hurt me. "So, is… is the whole family there?"

"Not quite," I answered, knowing he was asking about Edward. I focused on each individual word, refusing to understand the meaning of them. "Edward is in South America," I remembered overhearing Alice tell Charlie that in my kitchen the other morning when they thought I was still asleep. Had it really only been days ago? "He can't make it home for the funeral."

"I see, that's too bad." He sounded relieved and hurried to change the subject. "So how do you like North Carolina?"

"It's nice, I-I've never been this far east before." I imagined what he would say if he knew how far east I really was.

"Maybe you should head down to Florida before you come home, spend a couple of days with your mom. You're only a couple of states away and I'm sure she'd love to see you."

"Yeah." I didn't know how I was surviving this conversation, "I'd love to see her too, but I don't know…"

"Well think about it, I'm fine here." I heard the front door slam in the background, and then a voice that I would know anywhere. A voice that tore through my chest that was already empty. Charlie paused and then said, "Hold on Bells, Jacob's here for lunch. He's been here everyday since you left, checking to see if you called." _No, Charlie_, I thought, _checking on you, because I asked him to_. Tears were running silently down my cheeks. I could do this, I had to do this. There was a muffling as Charlie pulled the phone away from his ear. I heard him say, "Yeah, it's her, she just called…" Jake's reply was muffled, but Charlie replied. "I don't know when she's coming back… Yeah, sure, hold on." Charlie's voice was clear again as he put the phone back to his ear, "Jacob wants to talk to you Bella. Call again soon okay honey? Let me know when you're coming home."

"Sure thing," I tried not to think of this as goodbye, if I did, the next words would never make it past my lips, "I love you Dad."

"You too, Bells. Here's Jake."

I steeled myself and tried to hold the sobs back. I listened to the phone change hands and then Jacob's voice was closer, but not quite clear. "Yeah, could you give us a minute?… Sure, sure, pizza would be great, maybe you could pick Billy up on your way back… Alright, mushrooms too… Thanks Charlie."

Then his voice was in my ear, tearing me to pieces.

"Hey Bella." It was low and sober. In an instant I was far away from this terrifying place, drinking soda from a brown paper bag, holding an impossibly warm hand. In an instant I was broken again. Merely broken.

"Jake." Was all I could choke out, the sobs would not be confined.

"Oh Bella, are you alright?" He sounded so worried.

If I would have known I would've been faced with this conversation, I'm sure I would have vowed to tell Jacob I was fine. I would've promised myself I wouldn't worry him. I'm sure I would have planned to be like Alice who promised Jasper she would come home safely. I would've made this promise to myself and the instant that I heard that familiar husky voice I would have broken it. I could not lie to Jacob.

"No." I answered around a sob, "No, Jake, I'm not okay. Not even a little."

"What's wrong?" 

"I was too late." I whispered. "I-I didn't save him." I gasped around another sob. "Jacob, he's gone."

There was a long silence while he processed the information. "Bella I'm so sorry." His voice held a million different emotions, the first of which was sympathy. The second; relief. There was no sign of sorrow, but I couldn't blame him.

I didn't answer. The lump in my throat left no room for words.

"Are you…" He hesitated, as if trying to decide if this was the next appropriate thing to say. He went on, "Are you coming home now?"

I swallowed, and tried to speak. The words never made it above a shaky whisper, "I can't yet."

"Why not?" His voice was suddenly harsh, anxious.

"The, the Volturi know I'm here. I have to go talk to them-"

"No you don't Bella." He interrupted me quickly, "They're dangerous. You have to come home. Right now." 

"I can't. They want to kill me because I know too much about them. Alice and Carlisle say my only chance is to go and talk to them, Alice thinks they'll let me go."

"Give her the phone," Jacob was angry now, "I want to talk to her."

"She's not here, we got separated I-I'm going to meet them tomorrow."

"No, Bella, no, just come home, please. You can hide, I'll keep you safe."

"You can't." I didn't know how anyone could have this many tears. "They have trackers, I can't hide. Alice told Carlisle that this is the only chance."

"Carlisle doesn't know about the pack." Jacob growled, "We can help you Bella, you don't have to do this. Please don't do this." He was pleading now.

"I have to, it's not just me in trouble. It's all of the Cullen's. If I don't do this they'll kill me, and they might kill the rest of his family."

"I don't care about the Cullen's," venom saturated his voice. "I only care about you, Bella I'm begging, come home."

It took me a moment to find my resolve. I wanted so badly to feel Jacob's strong warm hand around mine. I wanted to watch Charlie enjoying one more dinner I made for us. I wanted to listen to one more of Renee's spontaneous plans. I wanted so badly to go home.

But then I remembered a pair of topaz eyes, a crooked smile, a cool embrace Things I would never see or feel again because I had failed. I thought of a dark-haired pixie kissing my cheek. A kind, carefree giant ruffling my hair. I thought of a mourning mother and father. Mourning the son I couldn't save and I found my resolve. I would do whatever they ask of me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try. And there was always the chance I would survive.

"Jacob," my voice was stronger with my new-found determination, "I have to do this. Carlisle is here, and Jasper and Alice, they'll take care of me. I'll see you in a couple of days." I hoped I was telling the truth. Desperately.

"No, Bella, please." I detected tears in his voice which made my own impossible to control.

"I'll be okay, Jacob, either way, I'll be okay."

"What do you mean, either way?" His voice whipped around the words, I knew he already understood.

"How?" I choked back a sob, "How do I live in a world where he doesn't exist?"

"No Bella," he choked on a sob of his own. "I know you're hurting, but don't do this. Think of Charlie. Think of me. The way you feel right now is the way I'll feel if you don't come home. It's not your job to fix this, I can protect you, you don't have to do this. You can't do this. _I_ can't live in a world without _you, Bella please, please." Each sentence ended in a sob, each ragged breath he took sent a knife through me. I tried to find my voice, the words that would comfort him, the will to follow through…_

"_I'm sorry." I clutched the phone like it was his hand, like he could feel me. "I'm so sorry, but I have to do this. I love you Jacob, I-" I couldn't finish._

"_Bella, please. I can save you, let me save you, please." But there was a sense of defeat in his voice, he realized there was nothing he could say to change my mind._

"_Oh Jacob," I whispered Memories of the last few months were running through my head. I remembered the way he had put me back together, carefully, lovingly;_

"_You already did."_


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Lazzaro came back from his book-shop it was late, but I'd had enough time to put myself back together. Talking to Jacob had added a new weight to my shoulders, it was a miracle I wasn't stooping from the pressure. It was a miracle I could still stand at all.

I heard footsteps approach the front door and I arranged my face, as I'd already done so many times that day, into something of a smile. I had been sitting on the sofa with my knees pulled into my chest, but when I heard the front latch release I straightened up and rested my feet on the floor.

Lazzaro walked into the room with a plastic bag in his hand. He handed it to me and turned to hang his coat up. Inside I found my own clothes, freshly washed. His kindness never ceased.

"Thank you." I told him.

"You're very welcome, sorry it took so long. There's a laundry next to my store, but I had to convince Maria to let me in, she was already closed."

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

"It was no trouble, she likes to find things about me to complain about." He winked at me, "I will not ask her out, you see, no matter how bluntly she hints."

I smiled, for real this time and set the bag by my feet.

"How is your father?" Lazzaro settled into his chair.

"Very well. Thank you for letting me call him." It suddenly occurred to me that the call was probably expensive and my roll of money was still in the duffle-bag I had left behind. "I, um, I can pay you for the long-distance. If you give me your address, I can send you some money. And for the laundry, and the food…" And then I realized that during that sentence I had believed I was going to make it home. My subconscious was apparently optimistic.

"Please Bella," he waved his hand dismissively, "don't worry, the pleasure of your company has been repayment enough."

Apparently he expected very little of his company. I thought of all the tears I had shed in his presence, and the fact that I had slept through most of today. I would hardly have described my company as pleasant, but I was grateful for his kindness and understanding.

"So you meet your friend tomorrow?"

"Yes, early in the morning in front of the clock-tower."

"Palazzo dei Priori?"

I remembered chanting those words in the car right before I had ruined everything only days ago. Those had been Edwards last moments… I left those thoughts quickly, forcing my vocal-chords into action. "Yes, is it near?"

"Very near, I live only two streets to the east of the plaza, you can see the tower from Alessa's bedroom window."

Good, I thought. I wanted to go alone. I didn't want to have to ask for directions for fear that Lazzaro would insist on showing me the way himself.

"If you are meeting her early, perhaps you are wanting to go to bed? It is getting late."

I knew there was no hope for sleeping, I'd already slept away most of the afternoon. Besides my mind was reeling. But I was tired in different ways; tired of trying to be normal for Lazzaro, tired of focusing on my expression, of faking smiles and keeping my voice light. I was ready to be alone with my despair so I nodded.

"Alright." Lazzaro stood and walked towards his bedroom. "How early are you meeting your friend?"

"Six," I lied, "I know it's very early, I'll sneak out and try not to wake you."

"So this is goodbye then is it?" Lazzaro walked forward with his hand out.

I stood up and without thinking about what I was doing I ignored his hand and threw my arms around his neck. I realized in that moment that Lazzaro had probably saved my life on top of all the other things he had done for me. I was also aware of the possibility that he could be the last human in the world that I would ever talk to.

"Goodbye Lazzaro," I couldn't keep the endless tears from filling my eyes, "Thank you for everything."

"Dear Bella," he patted my back, "I was happy to help you, I'm sorry for your troubles."

I stepped back and wiped my eyes, suddenly embarrassed. Lazzaro patted my shoulder once more and pulled a piece of paper out of his front shirt pocket. "I wrote this down for you in case you need anything." I unfolded the paper to find his name and phone number along with some Italian money.

"Thank you." I whispered, not trusting my voice not to break.

"Be careful, my young friend."

I nodded, but I couldn't meet his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

It was amazing to me that even here, on the other side of the world, morning still smelled like morning. The air was still alive and fresh and rushed into my lungs in gusts instead of breaths. Here at the end of all things, in this terrifying city, birds still chirped and the few people moving about the streets still nodded in greeting as I passed, oblivious to the monsters in their midst. Oblivious to the terror at their doorsteps. Terror that I was rushing to face.

I'd left Lazzaro's house at half-past five in the morning. I'd listened carefully to the rhythm of his snores as I made my way quietly to the front door. They never wavered, even as I was closing the door behind me. I hurried down a flight of stairs and onto the street. I turned around and realized that his house was really just a small apartment over a butcher-shop. I didn't pause to examine it. I rushed to the end of the first street and from the corner I could see the clock-tower, well lit to accent it's beautiful architecture. From this vantage point I could see the exact route I had taken from the car to the fountain. Without all the people, I could see exactly how close I had been. Painfully close, excruciatingly close. I tried to breath and I forced my feet to hurry along the sidewalk. I knew it was much too early, but the suspense was overwhelming. I couldn't sit in Lazzaro's house anymore, I needed to be moving. I needed to be out of his presence, his safety depended on it.

The first thing I did was take the paper out of my pocket. (I had changed back into my own clothes.) The paper that Lazzaro had written his name and number on. I quickly tore it into tiny pieces and threw them into several different garbage cans. I didn't want the Volturi to find any evidence of Lazarro's help. Maybe it would be a wasted effort and they would be able to read my mind, but I was holding on to the hope that my thoughts would stay secret to them, as they had been to…_him._

As I approached the clock-tower I experienced my first moments of naked terror. I had to remind myself that I wasn't facing the Volturi alone, Carlisle would be there, and Alice and Jasper. And I had to remind myself that I was doing this for them. A family that I loved like my own, a family that was broken now because of me.

I focused on each footstep, each breath, each blink. The grief was threatening to overpower me. There would be time for that later, and if there wasn't…

There was a pocket of darkness to the right of the tower and my feet took me toward it. It wasn't until I was very close that I noticed the darkness wasn't uninhabited. There was a large figure in a dark hood standing against the wall, completely motionless. I recognized the eerie stillness, it was familiar. Familiar and terrifying.

In that moment I abandoned my body. My mind was telling me to turn and run, so I stopped thinking. Something about the statuesque creature in the darkness brought a boldness to me that I didn't know I had. I forgot my grief, my terror, my hopelessness and it was replaced by blazing determination. These creatures; _Volturi, (_my mind spat the word) had taken _everything_ from me. Had reduced me to an empty shell, a black hole, the reason for my existence was gone. I wasn't afraid, there was nothing they could do to me. I was only afraid for my family, I would do everything in my power to help them. I let my feet have control and they marched me right up to the enormous, dark statue.

At first only his crimson eyes moved at my approach, focusing on me. Then the sculpted eyebrows rose in surprise at my boldness. The exquisite lips formed the shape of a smirk when I finally stopped before him.

"Why you must be the notorious Bella. You're early, my dear. We weren't expecting you yet." The purr of his seductive voice did not surprise me. I didn't answer, I wasn't allowing myself to think, just act.

Another hooded being moved from the shadows and came toward us. "What's this Felix? Our guest is early?"

"Mmmm," the giant named Felix answered with a nod. "And look at her eyes Demetri, don't you recognize that look? Many of our guests have been sporting that expression lately."

They were circling me slowly, reminding me of James in the ballet studio. The only difference was their bright crimson eyes, they weren't thirsty. I didn't know whether or not I was comforted by that.

"Ahh, yes." Demetri purred using his cold fingers to pry my chin up and force me to stare into his flawless face, "The look of… hopeless desperation."

Felix chuckled and nodded. He bent down to look me in the eye, "Bella, love, why the long face?"

They laughed together, and I remained silent. I hated them. The anger coursed through me, and for one wild second I imagined myself exploding into a werewolf and tearing them to pieces.

"Enough." A voice chimed from the darkness. Another dark shadow emerged and came toward us. This one was very small and horribly angelic looking. The two giants stopped circling me and straightened up immediately, reminding me of soldiers awaiting orders.

The small shadow drifted into focus with impossible grace and smiled at me with an innocent expression. "You're not afraid Bella?" It was said almost as a statement, but with an invitation to reply.

"I don't know." I couldn't, I wasn't allowing myself to think.

"Carlisle will be relieved to see you, as well as… others." She tilted her head to one side and looked me over. "I thought once we'd met, I'd understand the fascination. But, I'm afraid it remains a mystery. Perhaps it has something to do with your immunity to most of our… tools, I don't seem to be having the slightest effect on you."

"Wait!" Demetri spoke, "Should you be doing that? I thought Aro promised Carlisle we wouldn't hurt her… yet."

She shrugged her tiny shoulders and said lightly, "Curiosity got the better of me. Besides, it seems there was no harm done." She seemed disappointed by the last part. I found myself wondering what she had tried to do. Then I reminded myself not to think.

"Well boys, take her below and I'll let Aro know our guest has kept her end of the bargain. Maybe by now he's got his point across upstairs." She smiled vindictively and the other two laughed along with her. It was a beautifully terrifying sound.

After dropping through a drain-hole into an underground labyrinth of tunnels, they led me into a dark stone room that reminded me of a dungeon. Which was probably exactly what it was, Volterra was a castle after-all. They closed the door behind me and I was alone in the damp darkness. I couldn't hear them outside the door, but I was sure they were there, guarding me. I felt my way into a corner and curled into a ball in the blackness. Even the slightest movement echoed against the stones. There was a dank smell and a constant dripping sound. It was freezing and so dark. I fought back the terror that threatened to overwhelm me, but it would not be overcome. My breaths turned into gasps as my short burst of bold courage faded away. This was not a nightmare, I would not wake up. Maybe Carlisle wasn't even really here, maybe it was a trap. As my rapid breathing became full-on hyperventilation I felt the threat of unconsciousness. I didn't fight it. The claustrophobic darkness was pressing in on me from every side. It was so cold here, every gasp felt like knives in my chest. Now there were voices in the corridor, but I was beyond understanding. I heard the heavy door scrape open, but I could no longer see, everything went black.

"_Breathe Bella," _An angel's voice drifted through the haze that was threatening to pull me under. It was the most perfect hallucination yet. Even now, when I was barely whole, my subconscious brought me the greatest of gifts. It mended me while simultaneously destroying me. I wanted this to be the last sound I heard.

"Breathe!" It was rough and anxious, urgent. I didn't listen to the demand, just relished in the perfect melody of the sound. I let the darkness have me, I welcomed it.

"Come on Bella, open your eyes! I'm here. Bella, love, I'm here. Don't do this, please, not now. Open your eyes, Bella, I need you to open your eyes."


	10. Chapter 10

My body decided not to grant me the relief of unconsciousness. My hallucination forced me back into awareness and I obeyed the command, I opened my eyes.

His perfect face was there, inches from mine. My subconscious apparently had even memorized his scent with perfect clarity. I breathed him in and tried not to worry about the fact that my mind had snapped. I didn't think about how much this would hurt when it faded away. I didn't wonder what the Volturi were going to do with me. For this moment I didn't feel alone in the terrifying blackness, so I lost myself in the dark topaz eyes that were searching mine. I let the cold hands stroke my face and watched an expression of relief wash over my delusion's face.

"Oh Bella," he breathed. I absorbed the exquisite sound of his voice. "I'm so sorry." His eyes were devastatingly sad.

"No," I whispered, not stopping to worry about the fact that I was speaking to a hallucination. I only wanted the look of ancient sadness to be gone from his expression. "_I'm_ sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Tears were beginning to fall. I hated the moisture for clouding my vision. I didn't know how long this would last, I needed to see his face clearly.

"You shouldn't have had to try, Bella, I should never have left you," He wiped away my tears with his thumb and pressed his cold lips to my forehead, "It should not have come to this. I'm so sorry."

"Edward," another voice I recognized spoke from the darkness. I frowned, I had thought my delusions were reserved for Edward alone. I had never had one of any of the other Cullen's before, so Carlisle's voice surprised me. "Edward, we have to take her to Aro."

"No!" It was a choked reply, somewhere between a growl and a plea.

"It's the only way, son, let me take her. I promise I won't let her out of my sight."

"Wait," my voice cracked. This was becoming too real. "Wait." I repeated struggling to sit up. Edward helped me and Carlisle knelt down on my other side.

"What is it Bella?" Carlisle pressed his fingers against my wrist and looked me in the face. "Do you feel faint?"

I blinked, bewildered, but my eyes never left Edward's face. I noted his defiant expression, his torn, dirty, clothes, his dark eyes. The Edward's from my hallucinations were always perfectly put together and never thirsty. My mind was battling. The part of me that knew Edward was gone was warring against the part of me that wanted to believe he was right here beside me. His eyes anxiously searched my face. He gently touched my cheek, "What is it Bella?" He repeated Carlisle's question, and my heart skipped a beat as I watched his lips shape my name.

"You're… you're real?" The words came out in a shaky whisper.

"Yes," he answered slowly, a confused crease formed between his eyes.

Without giving it permission to, my hand was reaching for his face. "You're here?"

His hand rose up to grasp mine over his cheek. "Yes Bella, I'm here."

I rose to my knees and facing him, my other hand reached for the other side of his face. "You-" relieved sobs were beginning to form in my chest, I tried to speak around them, daring myself to believe, "You're alive?" My voice broke over the words.

"Yes love," He pushed a strand of hair back from my face and his hand cupped my cheek, "I'm alive."

Those two words healed me. Somehow, miraculously, Edward had survived. He was here before me. I could feel him with my own hands, see him with my own eyes. I collapsed into his lap and let the relieved sobs have me. He gathered me in his arms and held me against him, rubbing my back he said over and over, "It's alright love, it's alright, I'm here."

"How touching." The horrifying girlish voice of a familiar hooded figure sliced through our short reunion and reminded me of where I was and what I was facing. It was infinitely less terrifying now. Against all odds I felt safe, whole, restored.

"I'm afraid Aro doesn't like to be kept waiting." She walked toward Carlisle who had already rose to his feet, "He requires Bella's presence, in his chamber, immediately."

I felt Edward's arms tighten around me. "No." He said again, "_I'll_ meet their demands. Leave her out of this."

"Oh Edward," I felt her approach us. Edward's hand was holding my head against his chest, so I couldn't turn to see her. It didn't matter, I was oblivious to what was going on around me. As long as I was here, with him, I was content. I didn't care about anything else.

"You know it's not up to me." She continued, "You're lucky he has agreed to see her at all. You're lucky he didn't just send Demetri after her like he wanted to in the first place."

"Edward understands what has to happen." Carlisle said quickly. "Edward please, cooperate. It's the only way, Alice has seen it."

"Ha!" Edward quickly rose to his feet, cradling me in his arms. "Do you think that reassures me?"

"There's no other way son, I won't argue with you about this," I had never heard Carlisle use this hard tone before.

"And neither will I." A second after she spoke I was out of Edward's arms, sprawled across the damp stone floor. Edward was next to me writhing in pain, wearing a tortured expression.

"Stop Jane!" Carlisle's voice echoed around us in the small chamber, "That isn't necessary!"

Instantly Edward was still. His eyes cleared and he anxiously searched my face. "Are you alright?" He asked me.

I wasn't alright, but it was out of concern for him. My heart was racing in my chest, screams of terror were threatening to escape me. I had never seen him hurt before, and I never wanted to see it again. I suddenly realized what Jane had been trying to do to me earlier when she'd said she didn't have any effect on me. I shivered and wasn't given a chance to answer.

"Felix, grab her." Jane's order rang out and before Edward could act, I was being scooped up and carried out of the chamber by the giant vampire. Edward was on his feet in an instant and came toward us. I reached for him, but Jane placed a restraining hand on his chest accompanied by a warning look. "Aro wants her alone, but he will allow Carlisle to see her safely to his room. _You will stay here until called for."_

_I realized that we were really going to be separated and something inside of me snapped. "Edward!" I screeched, twisting in the stone arms that were holding me. "Edward, no!"_

_His expression was pained and for one terrifying moment I thought that Jane was hurting him again. "Bella!" _

"_NO!" I screamed louder and tried in vain to fight off the arms that restrained me. I couldn't be away from him now. I was sure it would kill me._

"_Bella it will be alright." Carlisle came to my side and placed his hand on my arm. "Give her to me Felix, I'll take her to Aro."_

_Jane nodded and Felix released me to Carlisle. As I was changing hands I tried to twist out of their grasp and run back to Edward who was alone now in the dark room. Jane closed the heavy door and it clanked into place with ringing finality before I could get there. The last thing I saw was Edward's broken expression. The last thing I heard was the tortured whisper of my name._


	11. Chapter 11

_We are going to visit the story from Alice's POV going back to where she left off in Ch. 3. If you recall, she was going to try to save Edward herself when she saw that Bella wasn't going to make it._

It was always unsettling to see things play out exactly the way I'd already seen in my head. I was mostly used to it by now, but it still gave me an odd sense of deja-vu.

Edward was standing exactly where I knew he would be. The expression on his face was one of peaceful surrender. That look alarmed me. It meant he was blocking out the thoughts around him, blocking my thoughts. When I could see that he wouldn't hear me with his mind, I decided to try his ears. I needed him to hear me somehow. I was running out of time, I wouldn't be able to stop him physically before the clock struck. There were too many people around, I couldn't get there as quickly as I needed too.

"Edward!" I used my normal speaking voice, knowing that if he wanted to, he could hear me.

His eyes fluttered open in surprise as the clock chimed for the first time. I said his name again, louder. I pushed my way through the people that were standing in the shadow I was using for cover from the sun.

He turned his head and our eyes met. I sighed with relief. _Don't even think about it._

He shook his head at me, his devastated expression told me that he wasn't going to listen. He lifted his foot to take a step forward, a step that would take him out into the sun. The first chime rang out.

_Stop! Edward, hold it! She's alive! I promise she's alive and she's here. Don't you dare move! _I was almost there. I shifted around a family of four that was lingering near the pocket of darkness Edward occupied. Finally I was next to him. I let my memories from the last couple of days flood my mind as I held Edward in my gaze. I showed him Bella, alive and beautiful, over and over again.

At first he looked at me sadly, and then skeptically, a look of disbelief, and then finally a look of blissful relief spread across his face. I gripped his arm and pulled him deeper into the shadows. _I don't know what I want to do more right now, kiss you, or throw you against this wall._

He just grinned at me and let out a relieved laugh. "Where?" He breathed, "Where is she?"

_In the square. She fell-_

Edward quickly turned as if to run into the middle of square, probably forgetting about the sun, and all of the people... I gripped his arm again, harder this time. _Do you think you could stop overreacting for about three seconds? She's fine, she just tripped. A nice man is going to- __**Wait! **_Without warning another vision was breaking into the foreground of my mind. Three hooded figures emerging from the darkness, one very large, another who was smaller than me-

"Felix," Edward growled through clenched teeth as he experienced the vision with me, "and Demetri… and Jane." Apparently he was familiar with the people in my vision. Jane… that name was familiar.

I was so used to communicating with Edward through thought that it never occurred to me to speak out loud. _Jane? Jane from Carlisle's Volturi stories? The one who tortures people with her mind?_

Edward nodded glumly and turned to greet them as they appeared in real-time. "Will she really be alright?" He breathed.

I closed my eyes and focused. A man would take Bella away and take care of her, I had already seen that and it hadn't changed. Things were fading in and out of focus the way they often did when I tried to force myself into the future. Flashes of Volterra, a bookshelf, a dark sitting room, a cold morning, a black dungeon, footsteps in the night, Jasper!, the figures from the painting, a flight to Atlanta… so many decisions yet to be made. Still, Bella didn't seem to be in any immediate danger. Edward, who had been listening as I sorted through the foggy future, nodded uncertainly beside me. That was all we had time for before the immediate future immerged from the darkness.

Aro's hand was oddly cold. It was a sensation I wasn't used to feeling since my skin was colder than almost everything I touched.

The way he read my mind was much different than the way Edward did. With Edward, I never knew when he was listening and he could only hear what was passing through my head at the time. Aro needed physical contact to listen to other's thoughts, but that wasn't the only difference. Having him in my head was like seeing my life flash before my eyes. Almost as though there were invisible fingers flipping through the my thoughts like index cards in a file box. He could look at whatever he wanted, any thought I'd ever had. It was unsettling to say the least.

"Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice." He sang my name in an eerie chant, as he let go of my fingers. I did not let my gaze waver from his strange milky one. I tried to put on a calm air, knowing it was vital to our future. "What a strange existence you have had so far, young one." He continued with a smile, "I am fascinated by your talent, what a wonderful gift!"

"Though sometime's inconvenient. It's inaccurate as nearly often as it's right, as you have just witnessed." I smiled, trying to play down the value of my talent. It didn't take the gift of mind-reading to know what was going on in his head. I was sure my abilities were irresistible to him.

"Yes, it's gotten you into trouble before," Aro smiled, "But the things you have been able to foresee and avoid because of it… amazing."

"Thank you." I tried to give him what I imagined was a sweet smile.

"So Bella is here…" Aro mused, almost to himself as he turned away from us to gaze out the narrow window beside him. I heard Edward let out a low growl behind me and I stepped back to grasp his hand. _Be calm. There's no danger yet. _

"She's in our city?" The one named Caius spoke from his seat in the corner of the room. He and their brother Marcus hadn't spoken since we had been brought to this room.

"Yes, brothers," Aro turned to face them, "Alice brought her along to save Edward." _I'm so sorry. _He squeezed my hand and I knew he didn't blame me. Edward never blamed anyone but himself.

"Then where is she?" Caius came to stand beside his brother. Marcus watched with a bored expression.

"It seems she got lost in the crowd and was helped by a stranger." Aro turned to me, "It's a shame your vision didn't allow you to see his face, or catch his name. Demetri won't have much to work with, but I'm confide-."

Edward, who could hear in Aro's head what he would say a moment before the sentence was finished, had already leaped for him. A fierce growl echoed around the stone room, but was cut off when he collapsed onto the ground at Aro's feet. He lay there writhing in agony while Aro watched with a look of amusement. I stood, frozen in horror, while my brother suffered silently.

"Enough Jane." Aro said after a short moment. "Your temper Edward, has already gotten you into enough trouble don't you think? If it wasn't for your unique abilities and self-control I would have killed you already. If you have any hope of surviving-"

"I don't." Edward said through clenched teeth as he rose to his feet. "If you intend to kill Bella," his voice broke over the last to words, "then I don't wish to live."

"You seem to be under the impression that we care about your wishes, Edward." Aro walked forward until he was inches from Edward's angry face, "We only care about the interests of our kind. I think it would be in our best interests to have you on our side, despite your overreacting tendencies. I'm sure we'll find a way to remedy them." He threw Jane an adoring look, which she returned with a wink.

"Is it really necessary to hurt Bella?" I tried to smile at Aro, but knew that if it were possible, there would be tears in my eyes.

"Don't be sad, dear Alice." Aro left Edward shaking in anger and walked toward me. "Our laws would be useless if we didn't uphold them, my dear."

"Speaking of our laws," Marcus finally spoke from the corner, "I think we need to make a new one, don't you Caius?"

"A law preventing one of our kind to kill another for the protection of a _human_." Caius spat the last word.

"Yes, that was indeed appalling behavior." Aro nodded in agreement. "I'm surprised my friend Carlisle would condone such a thing. But brothers, we cannot punish them for breaking a law that didn't yet exist."

"It didn't exist because none of us ever though someone would think of doing such a thing. Such an act deserves immediate and swift justice. Existing law or not." Marcus had now risen to his feet and the three of them began a heated debate. It seemed they were talking about last spring and what happened with James. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward barely nod.

I tried to scan the future, but since they couldn't agree on how to handle us, everything was foggy. Except one thing. Carlisle was now on his way, and he was bringing _Jasper. _My relief at seeing Jasper was battling with the fear I felt for him. I wanted him to be safe, but oh, how I needed him here! Edward stiffened as the vision of Carlisle's arrival played out in my head. It seemed that the Volturi would be happy to see him.

_Should we tell them he's coming?_

Edward frowned as if unsure.

_It might buy us some time. _I pointed out.

At that moment Demetri walked into the room and Edward quickly turned his head and looked at him in shock. I didn't see anything different about the Volturi guard, so I concluded that the expression on Edward's face had something to do with what was going on in Demetri's head.

_What is it?_

Edward frowned, his eyes still focused on the new arrival.

Demetri's entrance also caught the attention of Aro who greeted him with a smile. "You've returned!" He held out his hand for Demetri to grasp. "Come friend, tell me what you've discovered."

Demetri looked grim as he put his strong looking hand into the binds of Aro's feeble looking fingers.

Aro only held on a moment and he didn't seem as disappointed as I had been expecting him to look, judging from Demetri's countenance. "Don't worry Demetri, I'm sure you'll discover where this man is hiding her. You really haven't had very much time, and what with the sun, and all of the people… Don't worry, I'm not disappointed in you. You've never failed to find someone you were tracking, and I doubt you ever will."

"Thank you. I won't fail you." Demetri stepped back and as he turned around to go to his place at the door opposite Felix, I was surprised to see his gaze flicker to meet Edward's. Edward let out a small gasp which I'm sure no one else noticed but me. Something big was happening and not knowing what it was, was beginning to drive me crazy.

"Aro." Edward suddenly spoke, "Alice has just foreseen that Carlisle will be arriving within the next 18 hours or so. I thought you would want to know."

"Wonderful!" Aro seemed truly pleased, "Surely you will agree then brothers, that nothing more can be decided until he gets here. It simply would not be just, he is our friend."

Caius and Marcus nodded glumly and floated back to their seats, content to wait until later to finish their debate.

"In that case Jane, I think you can escort these two down-stairs." Aro continued, waving his hand our direction. "Behave Edward, it was nice to meet you Alice."

I still had Edward's hand in mine and he eagerly pulled me out of the room behind Jane. His expression told me that he had something to communicate and I was dying to know what it was.

Once we were locked in the dark chamber under Volterra Edward finally spoke.

"Has Bella's future changed?" He asked anxiously.

"Um…" I pushed my mind ahead. I couldn't see any immediate danger, though things were still very foggy. "Not really."

Edward sighed, "Good."

_What was going on in there with you and Demetri._ I switched to using my thoughts to talk to him, in case we were being listened to.

Edward shook his head and seemed to be listening to the thoughts around us. Finally he leaned forward and whispered almost silently into my ear. "I can't tell you because I don't want Aro to find out through you what I just heard in Demetri's head. I can only say that from now on, no matter what happens, I can't let Aro touch me."


	12. Chapter 12

They brought Jasper down soon after he and Carlisle arrived. Carlisle was talking to the Volturi and it only took them a few minutes to understand why they suddenly felt like they wanted to grant Carlisle everything he asked. They were impressed and annoyed by Jasper's talent and sent him down to us so they could finish their discussion without simulated calm and confidence.

The wave of love radiating off of him when our eyes met I was sure could be felt for at least a mile around. In moments like this we never needed words. He could experience my feelings and show me how he felt at the same time. He had been worried about me, he was relieved to see me, he loved me. I walked forward into his arms and let the little bubble of feelings settle over us for a moment. I laid my face against his chest so I could breathe him in. I could feel him doing the same thing to my hair.

Edward remained where he was, leaning against the damp stone wall to give us our moment. He'd held that position for the last 16 hours, motionless, except occasionally when his hand would reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose, a sign of distress. There was something about his demeanor that I couldn't unravel. He was terrified for Bella, but at the same time there was an undercurrent of confidence that was more than just hope. I didn't understand it. I'd spent the last 16 hours sitting on the ground looking for the future. I still couldn't see anything clearly.

Jasper released me and looked at Edward. The expression on his face was a mixture of relief and disapproval.

"I'm so sorry Jazz." Edward walked forward and offered Jasper his hand. "I didn't know what else to do."

Jasper grasped his hand and pulled him into a hug. I knew he was answering with his thoughts when Edward laughed after stepping back and meeting Jasper's eyes. "Thank you, I'm truly sorry." Edward said quietly.

"Is Carlisle with the Volturi?" I asked. I had yet to look away from Jasper's face.

"Yes. As soon as they realized their feelings were being manipulated they sent me away. I didn't get to hear hardly anything All I could gather is that they know Bella is here but they can't find her."

"That's right." I reached for his hand and he gave it to me. "Aro saw her being helped in my vision, but we don't know the identity of the man. I think I've been getting flashes from inside his house, but I'm not sure."

"I thought the Volturi had trackers."

"They do." Edward replied. "They have several, but only one that is truly inescapable. Demetri."

"But he can't find her?"

I looked at Edward to read his response. He looked down at his hands and answered without meeting either of our eyes. "Apparently not." Jasper frowned and I could tell he was absorbing Edward's feelings. They seemed to confuse him.

I wanted to tell Jasper about the brief exchange I'd witnessed between Edward and the tracker. But after what he had told me about the information being dangerous, I decided not to let Jasper in on it. I would try to avoid Aro's touch as well and I would spare Jasper from any information that could be dangerous to us or Bella.

A vision caught me off guard. It was clearer than any of the others, though still not absolute. It was of Bella.

_From the nature of the light it seemed like early morning. She was hurrying across the plaza, only this time it was deserted. She was heading toward the clock-tower, a look of quiet determination on her face. She was walking toward a hooded figure in the darkness…_

"Alice!" Jasper was gently shaking my shoulders.

I focused on his face as the vision faded. Edward was also suddenly at my side, looking desperate.

"What did you see?" He asked anxiously, "Was it Bella?"

"Yes Edward, she was fine." I frowned though, trying to figure out the meaning of what I had seen. "I think she's going to come here."

"No!" Edward exclaimed.

At the same time Jasper asked, "When?"

"I couldn't tell." I answered Jasper, "I think it was morning. Edward, it will be fine."

"She can't come here!" He declared desperately.

"Maybe it's the only way." A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Maybe if they meet her, if Aro can read her mind, he'll know that she doesn't intend to reveal us to anyone. Maybe they'll see that our secret is safe with her."

Jasper looked as though he would like to share my hope. Edward looked less than skeptical.

"She can't come here." He repeated. "I don't think Aro will be able to read her mind. It's protected somehow, and even if he could, I don't think they would see any reason to take a chance on her. Humans are unpredictable… and disposable."

I sat down where I was and pulled Jasper down with me.

"Decide to bring Bella here." I demanded. Jasper was used to playing this game with me, sorting through the possibilities. The more he focused on the decision that Bella needed to come here the more defined the vision became. There were still a lot of small decisions that could alter the whole picture, but as far as I could see, she would be alright…

"Decide to hide her."

Jasper planned to take Bella to South Africa, New Zealand, Russia, Brazil… With a twitch of my head he knew when the decision would end in disaster and he would quickly change his mind. No matter where he tried to take her, she was always discovered by the Volturi. The images were devastating.

It took me a moment to realize something in the visions were missing.

"Edward," I turned toward him. He had returned to his pose against the wall. His nose pinched between his fingers. He looked up when I spoke.

"Isn't Demetri the most powerful tracker?"

"Yes. His mind is amazing. He has several talents combined that make him lethal and impossible to confuse."

"Then I wonder why he isn't showing up in Bella's future."

Another strong vision burst into my mind and exploded in front of me. _Bella was curled up on the ground shrieking in agony. _

That was all. The vision vanished.

"What did you just decide!?"

Jasper shook his head, "Nothing, what was it?"

I didn't answer and looked at Edward who was watching me intently.

"Did you decide anything?"

He shook his head. "Was it Bella?"

I nodded. "I don't know what it meant, but it wasn't good."

"She can't come here."

"Edward. I still think it's the only way."

Carlisle looked distressed when we were finally reunited in one of Volterra's chambers a few hours later. Edward went straight to his side and if it were possible, I knew he would've been crying.

"Carlisle-" he choked out before Carlisle grasped him by the shoulders and shook his head.

"Don't apologize son, I know you didn't think you were endangering any of the rest of us."

"But I-"

"No Edward, there is no time for regrets. We will get out of this together and we'll discuss it on the other side."

Edward nodded and stepped back to stand beside Jasper. He didn't look comforted by Carlisle's words. Nothing but Bella's safety could comfort him.

I stepped forward into Carlisle's waiting arms. "I'm so proud of you Alice." He told me.

"How can you be happy with me?" I heard the sadness in my voice, "I brought Bella into this mess. I saw the vision that started all of this."

"But you did what was necessary to save your brother, Alice, and I know we will find a way out of this. I _will_ protect my family, Bella included."

"Alice thinks the only way to save Bella is to have her come here and let the Volturi talk to her." Jasper said, "Once they see that she is determined to protect our secret, maybe they'll let her go."

"We can't hide her?" Carlisle turned to me.

"No, their trackers will find her."

"Alright." Carlisle took a deep breath, out of habit, and looked at each of us in turn. "How do we get her here?"

"I think if I focus really hard I will be able to see where she is. I haven't done it yet because I didn't want Aro to see it in my head, but if we're bringing her here anyway, I don't see how it would hurt."

Edward was oddly quiet, perhaps because Jasper was sending waves of reassurance towards him. Perhaps he was coming to terms with what needed to happen.

"If you're sure Alice."

I nodded.

"Alright, find her." Carlisle put his head in his hands briefly before looking up and continuing, "I will speak to Aro. Hopefully my history with the Volturi will help us. I know they're capable of being reasonable…

I also know what else they are capable of."


	13. Chapter 13

Carlisle set me on my feet before a heavy wooden door.

"It will be alright Bella," He pushed my damp hair from my clammy forehead. "Everything is going to be alright."

"Edward." My mind seemed disconnected from my body. His name was echoing over and over in my head. I had just felt him, touched his face, heard his voice, I had smelled him… only to be torn away from him again. In those brief moments it had even felt as though he needed me too, as much as I needed him. Maybe it was my mind telling me what I wanted to hear, maybe he was only anxious for my safety. But when I touched him, I felt the same burn go through my fingertips as the first time our hands had made contact in biology so long ago. And it didn't feel one sided, it felt like an electrical current passing back and forth between us. I didn't dwell on it long, I couldn't focus on anything but the knowledge that he was alive and we weren't together.

"Edward will be fine. Everything will be fine. Just tell Aro the truth. That's all you have to do. Don't be afraid. I'll be right outside the door."

I nodded silently, his words barely registered. They meant nothing to me.

"As will I." A shiver ran up my spine when I recognized this voice. She seemed to float to stand beside Carlisle with almost as much grace as Alice possessed. I wondered fleetingly where Alice was now.

"Jane." Carlisle acknowledged her.

"Your son is very willful." She observed while pulling down the sleeves of her dark robe. "I don't seem to be getting through to him. How do you manage to keep him under control?"

"I don't try to control the members of my family." Carlisle replied shortly.

"Perhaps you should consider it." Jane smiled sweetly, "Perhaps then you wouldn't find yourself in these situations."

Carlisle ignored her comment and continued to be polite. "Would you like to tell Aro Bella is here or shall I?"

"I will." She stated while she opened the door and gave us both an awful angelic smile. "I love to give Aro good news."

She disappeared behind the door and left it open a crack.

"Good! Very good! Send her in then, my dear. Send her in alone… and find Alec, won't you Jane? It's his turn isn't it… Yes, I envy him." The voice was whispery. It was alarming, and made me wonder what would be waiting for me behind the door.

The door was pushed wide again a few moments later and Jane reappeared. She gave Carlisle a short nod before heading down the dimly lit hallway.

Carlisle grasped my shoulders, and before he guided me toward the towering door, he said one more thing. "It will all be over soon."

"Wait!" A pixie's voice that I would've known anywhere echoed through the hall. "Carlisle wait!" And then she was there, right next to us. Alice's eyes were wide and her black hair looked even more wild than normal. She looked, if it were possible, like she needed to sleep, like she was exhausted.

"What is it Alice?" Carlisle asked anxiously. "Aro is waiting."

Alice glanced at the door and then met my eyes. The sight of my friend made my body snap into action without my permission. Without meaning to, without thinking about what I was doing, I was throwing my arms around her and sobbing. "I'm so sorry Alice. I failed, I wasn't fast enough. Thank you for saving him. Thank you for saving Edward."

"Shhh. Bella." Her tiny stony arms patted my back briefly before pushing me gently away. "It's not your fault."

I looked down at my hands and opened my mouth to contradict her. Of course it was my fault, I wished they would stop denying it.

"Bella look at me." The tone of her voice, it's authority, surprised me. I quickly obeyed.

Alice grasped both of my hands, and looked as though, if it were possible, she would be crying as she spoke. "You're going to survive this."

I didn't know what to say. Her tone, her expression, frightened me.

"It's going to be difficult, but it's necessary… to protect your friends." She emphasized the last word, as though she were trying to communicate something. I didn't understand her.

I waited for more, but it seemed that was all.

What I assumed was Aro's voice wafted into the hallway "I'm waiting, Bella."

Alice embraced me one more time.

"I love you Bella. We all love you."

The lump in my throat prevented me from answering.

~*~

The painting in Carlisle's office had come to life. I was standing before one of it's occupants. When he held still, as he was now, he looked like a fragile sculpture. He looked harmless and ancient. When he moved and when he spoke, as he had when I first entered this strange, circular room, he looked like a nightmare.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." Only his eyes moved as they rested on mine, and I couldn't look away from his mesmerizing milky red gaze. I couldn't find my voice to answer. I wasn't even sure he wanted me to.

"What do they find so fascinating about you?" When he finally moved it was as though he was transformed from granite to molten rock, magma, sliding seamlessly to his feet and drifting in a circle around me as he spoke. This time I wasn't reminded of James in the ballet studio. He wasn't behaving menacingly. Instead of prey, I felt more like a piece of fine art being studied by an avid collector who couldn't understand the interest in the piece. "Why do they trust you with our secret?" It was as though he was talking to himself. As if I couldn't hear him, as if I wasn't expected to answer. " And most importantly…" He stopped in front of me and moved forward until his face was only inches from my own. His expression held only mild curiosity. "Where have you been hiding?"

His breath was hard to describe. It was pleasant and unpleasant at once as it blew across my face with his words. He smelled old, like the inside of a deep ancient cave, but one that was filled with roses. This time I felt he expected an answer. My mind scrambled. _'Protect your friends…"_

"I thought you knew where I was." I avoided the question. My voice sounded steadier than I expected, than I felt.

Aro smiled and a shiver ran up my spine. "Our tracker had trouble locating you. You seem to be immune to many of our abilities. Why is that?" He had taken a few seem-less steps back and was now sitting again in his throne-like chair.

"I don't know."

"Well, that's one of the things I intend to find out. But first you will tell me where you've been."

I didn't speak. I just let Alice's words repeat over and over in my head. _"Protect your friends, protect your friends…"_

I would protect Lazzaro. After everything he did for me… no matter what happened, I wouldn't tell them about Lazzaro.

Aro waited a moment and then frowned as he realized I didn't intend to answer. "Take my hand, Bella."

I couldn't find my feet to move myself forward.

"Resistance is futile, my dear. One way or another I will find out who helped you and I will destroy them. And then I will destroy you… and I will make Edward watch." He smiled distantly as this thought occurred to him and then his eyes returned to mine. "Take my hand Bella, this is the last time I will ask you."

"No." The word slipped between my lips and I braced myself for the consequences.

Aro was before me in an instant, my hand was being squeezed painfully hard by icy fingers. I let out a sharp shriek before regaining enough control of myself to take the pain silently. I wasn't looking at his face, so I didn't know what his expression was. I was too busy watching my fingers twisting out beneath his grasp at odd angles, and listening to the crackling of bones being broken. I was too busy fighting back the screams of pain that were hovering in the back of my throat, waiting for me to give them permission to break free. It was over a moment later.

"Interesting." His whispery voice hinted disappointment, but I still didn't look up. I was staring looking at my now mangled hand. The pain I experienced didn't quite match up to the horrific image before me. I must have been going into shock, there was an unpleasant numbness tingling between my wrist and my fingertips. I didn't feel like the fingers I was gaping at belonged to me, I felt separate from my body.

"I can't read your thoughts Bella, so I will ask you again…" I finally forced myself to look up. I knew the question, and I knew the answer. I would protect Lazzaro. I braced myself for more pain. He could kill me if he had to, but I would protect my friends.

"Who hid you from us?"

I should've been shaking on the ground. I should've been sobbing and begging, but my voice answered steadily. More steadily than should've been possible. "I wasn't hiding."

"Answer the question. Tell me where you were. This is your last chance."

I could only shake my head.

At that moment, the heavy door creaked open and revealed the return of Jane, and another that could easily have been her twin. He was only slightly taller than she, with the same angelic face.

"There you are!" Aro smiled at the pair.

They entered the room holding hands. I saw Jane look at me, take-in my expression, my deformed hand, and smile.

"Bella refuses to cooperate." Aro shook his head, almost sadly. "So Alec, when Elizabeth and I are finished with her, she'll serve to sustain you."

Alec smiled sweetly and turned to me. He reached for my un-injured hand and lifted it to his face, as if to kiss it. Instead, he turned it over and raised my wrist to his nose. I watched him smile at my scent. "Thank you, Master."

Jane seemed confused. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes, Jane, in addition to her extreme sense for danger, she has a certain way with humans. Bella's mind seems to be protected, but I think Elizabeth's ability will prove to be effective. You'll fetch her for me, won't you dear?"

Jane nodded and exited to room. Alec stepped back, into the shadows, content to wait. I thought of Edward. The pain of our separation rivaled that of my broken hand.

I stood alone in the middle of the room and repeated Alice's words in my head yet again. _"You will survive this… protect your friends."_


	14. Chapter 14

Elizabeth had kind eyes. I'd never thought that about a vampire that wasn't a Cullen, but she did. Despite being bright crimson, they were wide and innocent. I found myself trusting them, even with part of me screaming against that idea. I wanted to like her, without knowing why. She was tall, like Victoria, but I wasn't frightened as she towered over me.

I was comforted by this, until I saw Jasper file into the room behind her, and I realized that most of the comfort I was feeling was probably coming from him. He looked into my face with a mixture of pity and apology. I realized I hadn't seen him since my eighteenth birthday party. It seemed so long ago.

Alice followed him in. She was clinging to his arm. She also looked at me, but her expression was devastated. It was difficult to be frightened though, with Jasper sending me waves of reassurance.

Carlisle came into the room last, his eyes were on the ground and he didn't look at me.

"Jasper, Alice, Carlisle!" Aro rose to meet them. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave, this is a private matter."

Carlisle walked forward, he stood beside me as he faced Aro. "We just wanted to tell you that we've decided to go home after all."

They were leaving? Now?

"Jasper, Alice, and I have decided that we're not needed here any longer, like you said, and we want to return to the rest of our family."

Aro smiled. If he was surprised, he hid it well. "Good. Good. I think that is a wise decision. You many leave this city in peace, my friends. You may return at any time and, as you know Carlisle, there will always be a place for you among us. But be warned my young friends, I will not hesitate to destroy all of you if there is another incident like the one you took part in a year ago. You are lucky, that I have decided to allow Bella to justify your actions."

I knew I should have felt alarm at these words, but the feelings of comfort Jasper sent me made it impossible to be frightened.

At these words Carlisle turned around and walked toward the door. Jasper pulled Alice along in his path and our eyes met, not even Jasper's power could comfort me from what I saw in Alice's expression.

The door closed behind them and my hands began to shake.

"Alec, fetch Edward… and Demetri too. He requested to be here for this."

With a small smile Alec also left the room. Aro's expression when he finally looked at me again was bored.

"Does your hand hurt Bella?" He lowered his eyes to the hand hanging limply from my side.

It was oddly numb. Like my vocal chords, and every other part of me. I didn't answer.

"Bella, you may think that not replying to my questions will somehow protect you, but I'm afraid it only angers me and makes me that much more determined for an answer… So I will ask you again. Does your hand hurt?"

I shook my head.

That seemed to be enough for him. "There, see?" He said. "It's not so hard to cooperate."

There was a scuffling in the hallway. Alec appeared a moment later followed by Demetri who was holding Edward by the back of the next and forcing him into the room.

"Edward!" I shrieked. Unable to stop myself, I ran to him, desperate to close the distance that was between us.

A large hand shot up when I was close, it hit me in the chest. I fell to the ground. Demetri had reached up to stop me from getting to Edward. Hot bolts of fire and pain were shooting up my arm now. I fought to hold back the screams that were suddenly in my throat. On reflex, I had put both arms back to brace my fall, now I could feel the broken bones screaming in protest.

"Bella!" Edward pulled against the strong arm holding him back. "Let me go!" He growled at Demetri, who ignored him.

There was a quiet chuckling behind me, I didn't need to turn around to know that it was Aro, who found our pain amusing.

"Get up, Bella." He demanded. "Elizabeth, help her."

I felt cold hands under my arms and I was standing a moment later, facing Edward. He was looking at me with a tortured expression, then his eyes focused on the woman behind me and his eyes widened in alarm.

"Why is she here?" He demanded. "She doesn't need to be here, Bella will never tell our secret. Elizabeth isn't necessary."

Aro floated toward us until he was standing near Edward.

"On the contrary, she is quite necessary. In your absence Bella has demonstrated a vexing display of stubbornness, which needs to be dealt with. I need to know where's she has been and she refuses to tell me. She's protecting someone."

Edward was watching Elizabeth, horrified. "No." He begged. "Please, it doesn't have to come to this."

Aro leaned into Edwards face, "It does, and let me tell you why.

"First of all, this could all have been avoided if you would have abided by the rules of our kind. When we are discovered by a human we have two choices, Edward. Either to destroy them, or to change them. You have failed to do either, and you have allowed her to continue in her human life. What's more, you left her unsupervised with no intention of keeping tabs on her. She may have already told many our secret without us having any way of knowing because is immune to our ability to read her mind. You killed another of our kind for her sake. Because of you, she has made her way into this city. She has been here for days without any of us knowing her whereabouts. She is refusing to cooperate. I fail to see another alternative but to allow Elizabeth to use the unique ability she has with humans until Bella tells us where she has been. That will be Bella's punishment for her uncooperative behavior. You're punishment will be to watch this. If you interfere, Jane will punish you as well. When we are finished here, Alec will be allowed to feed on Bella's blood and you will be allowed to go."

Edward looked at me and I felt myself falling apart. His broken expression was breaking my heart.

"No." He choked. His eyes never leaving mine. For this moment I wanted to believe that he was feeling for me what I had never ceased to feel for him. Unyielding love.

"Yes, Edward. And if you try to interfere, her pain will be even worse." Aro turned to me then, "Now Bella… Tell Elizabeth where you have been hiding."

The tall female walked around me until we were facing on another. She leaned down until we were eyelevel and waited for my response.

My voice sounded rough, like sandpaper. "I can't." It was barely a whisper.

"Yes you can." She replied, her voice light and soft. Landing on my ears like feathers. Her pleasant countenance made me want to grant her request, but Alice's words were still fresh in my mind. I had to protect my friends.

"No." I looked into her face and watched her eyes grow dark.

"No Bella! Don't look at her!" Edward cried out desperately, but it was too late. My body was already on fire.

Elizabeth's power attacked my nervous system. Every joint, every limb, every cell felt like it was burning. For one wild moment, I imagined that this must be what it feels like to change from human to vampire. It felt like my skin was being peeled away from my bones. I was vaguely aware of voices and movement around me, but I could not focus on anything but the pain. I didn't even know if I was screaming.

It stopped. I was on the ground at Elizabeth's feet. I was sweating and tears were streaming down my face. I didn't try to get up. I repeated Alice's words over and over. I was determined to protect Lazzaro, despite this torture.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." I looked over to see Edward on his knees, his face crumpled as he watched me, he was saying my name over and over as he fought against Demetri's grasp.

Aro bent down and smiled at me. "You don't want to feel that again, do you Bella. So now I will ask you again. Where have you been? Who hid you?"

"I was alone." I whispered. "No one hid me."

"That's a lie, my dear." Aro stood straight and shrugged in Elizabeth's direction. "Do it again."

I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself. It was worse the second time, I couldn't even breathe. "You will survive this." Alice had said. "You will survive this."

I gasped when it was over, and tried to control the trembling all over. I felt sick to my stomach.

"Stop it!" Edward was yelling. "Stop! Leave her alone, she didn't hurt you, she didn't betray our secret. She wouldn't! If you want to hurt someone, hurt me, just leave her alone!"

"I am hurting you, Edward." Aro replied calmly. "That's the beauty of love. In hurting her, I hurt you at the same time. It's a fascinating concept."

Aro said that Edward loved me? He was mistaken, Edward's pain was born from guilt. I knew he didn't love me anymore, he had made that clear. This pain was almost bearable next to the memory of that day.

Demetri kept one arm gripping Edwards, and placed the other on Aro's shoulder. Aro closed his eyes as he received whatever thought it was that Demetri wanted to communicate. I saw Edward stiffen and watch the exchange carefully. I continued to try to regain my composure. The pain Elizabeth gave me didn't linger, now the only pain I felt was in my heart and in my hand. The latter seemed miniscule in comparison.

Aro opened his eyes wide and turned to Demetri. "I'm sorry my friend, I had no idea! Of course! And of course Alec will understand. I wish you would have told me sooner, but I guess you're still fairly new to our ways, you couldn't have known. Don't worry friend, it can't be much longer." Then he turned to Alec who had wandered out of the shadows at the mention of his name. "I'm sorry Alec, but it seems that Bella's blood sings for Demetri. I'm afraid you'll have to wait for our next victim."

Alec seemed slightly disappointed, but bowed his head in acceptance. "Yes Master, then if it's alright with you I will go on about my duties."

"Yes, of course. Thank you Alec."

The small vampire walked toward his sister and lovingly stroked her cheek once before exiting the room.

Aro returned his attention to me. "This is your last chance Bella. If you tell me who you've been with, I will consider not killing you and I will change you instead. You will be able to stay with Edward for all eternity."

Edward was glaring at Aro. "No!" He begged. I felt my heart break a little more to know that Edward didn't want Aro to change me.

"Edward." Aro shook his head. "She can't stay human, surely you see that."

"Please Aro," Edward begged. "Please just let her go. She has kept our secret for so long already."

"No Edward. Either she will cooperate and be changed, or she will die." Aro turned to me. "Which will it be Bella? Will you reveal your whereabouts?"

It took a moment to find my resolve. I thought about Lazzaro's kind blue eyes, his daughter Alessa, and I shook my head.

The pain this time was shockingly worse. It engulfed me with a new force and I could even hear myself shrieking. Death now would be a sweet relief.

"Very well." The pain ended and Aro's voice cut through the ringing in my ears. "If that's what you want." I realized that through my shrieks, I had been begging to die.

"Jane, go and tell my brothers that we will have to heighten security until we know the identity of the man who helped Bella. She will not reveal him to us and so Demetri will destroy her. Edward will watch and then he will join his family. May this memory follow you forever Edward, as a reminder to abide by our laws."

Demetri finally release Edward and he ran to my side. He hands trembled as he brushed my sweaty hair from my face. Edward cupped my face in his hands and looked deep into my eyes. The look was so intense that it almost hurt. His expression was devastated, broken; but there was something in his eyes that confused me. Something that he was trying to communicate.

It almost looked like hope.


	15. Chapter 15

I'm sorry for the confusion. I accidentally posted chapter 13 again instead of chapter 14. This is just to let you know that I've corrected that problem and Chapter 14 is now in it's rightful place so you can go back and read it if you like. Here. I give you a poem to make up for my stupidity. It is also from New Moon, Bella's feelings about Edward leaving.

Thanks for reading, have a nice twilightJ

Promises Broken

By Jaxidy

I made you a promise that hurt me,

And therefore the promise is broken,

It's reckless to feel this abandoned,

It's stupid to hear what you've spoken.

I saw what's ahead glinting brightly,

Dazzling, you in the sun.

I hold onto this memory tightly,

Now that that future is gone.

I've never before been this empty,

These feelings I cannot describe,

You come, like my fate and you tempt me…

Now you're gone. How am I still alive?

My heart doesn't feel like it's beating,

My throat feels hot with this burning,

I'm so cold, my memories fleeting,

This is more than need, this is yearning.

So you see that I'm already like you,

Your trouble has all been in vain.

Really, what would three days do?

This is already unbearable pain.

You're voice harshly speaks in my ears,

It tortures and heals and destroys me.

Behind my eyes your face appears,

With a future that never will be.

There's a hole in the place where I put you,

There's a lie in the words that were spoken,

I made you a promise that hurt me,

And therefore the promise is broken.


	16. Chapter 16

Aro was bored, that much was clear. He was finished with me. He closed the door in Edward's face in the middle of his last plea for my life.

I didn't know why Edward was begging so hard for me to get to live. Maybe it was so that he wouldn't have to carry the guilt he would feel. The burden of responsibility.

Demetri wasn't letting go of my good arm. He was gripping it tightly as he lead me quickly down the stone hallway. The others had all left. The three of us were alone. The heavy door settled into place with ringing finality and Edward rested his head against it in defeat. I was pulling against Demetri, twisting around to watch Edward. Our time together was quickly diminishing, I didn't want to take my eyes off of him for even a moment. Demetri paused and also turned. He didn't speak, but Edward's back stiffened and he hurried to catch up with us. I saw him meet Demetri's eyes briefly and then step in between us. I was surprised when Demetri allowed him to take his place at my shoulder. Edward gently held my shoulder with his left hand, and wrapped his right arm around my waist to support most of my weight. I leaned my face into him and breathed in his scent. I wondered how much time we had left.

Demetri continued down the dark hallway and Edward guided me along slowly in his path. I couldn't guess where he was leading us. I didn't want to think about it.

There was a maze of hallways and staircases. No one was around, my footsteps echoing down the deserted hallways made the only sounds.

I didn't pay attention to our direction. I rarely looked up from where my face was buried against Edward's cold chest, but I was aware that we were moving downward. I closed my eyes and fought back the tears that wanted to escape.

We stopped in front of yet another heavy door. Demetri pushed it opened and I was surprised when a fresh gust of wind hit me in the face. I looked up and realized we were headed outside, into the night.

"Where is he taking me?" I whispered. I had pictured him leading me to the dungeons, or some private chamber. I didn't expect to leave the castle walls.

Edward used the hand that was resting on my shoulder to place his cool forefinger against my lips. Our eyes met and he simply shook his head.

Demetri paused and looked around. So did I.

We seemed to have left through a back door that led us directly into an alley. It was deserted, just like the halls had been.

Demetri put his hand on my back, above Edward's arm and pushed us to the right. It jarred me and sent shooting pains up my broken arm. I let out an involuntary gasp.

Edward looked at me with concern and tightened his hold on me. His left hand rubbed my shoulder soothingly, but he didn't speak.

I was beginning to realize that something strange was happening. I didn't understand why Demetri was acting so sneaky, or why Edward seemed to be cooperating with him. Did he want me to die?

No, I was sure that he didn't.

The alley we were in suddenly ended and forked into another. To the right I could see the square. Lamp posts were burning, but it was even more deserted now than it had been early this morning when I crossed it on my way to the clock-tower. Was this really the same day? It seemed like such a life-time ago.

Demetri guided us left, away from the lights and deeper into the darkness. This was beginning to look like a quiet enough place for a vampire attack.

My mind was so tired from the stress of the day. I was tired of wondering which were going to be my last moments. I was tired of hurting, feeling the pain of have Edward so near and yet not having Edward at all. I was exhausted. I just wanted this nightmare to be over.

Edward must have felt my will dissolve. He tightened his grip on me and kept looking anxiously into my face. I returned his gaze. I didn't know why I was trying to memorize every line and angle of his face. I seemed like a wasted effort with my death looming so near to try to capture his scent and how it felt to lean against his chest, but I did it anyway. I couldn't help myself, and soon it wouldn't matter.

Demetri stopped suddenly and whipped around to face us. For a terrifying moment I thought this was it. He was ready to attack me. I held Edward tightly and stifled a scream.

But he was looking past us, back the way we had just came. He was squinting into the darkness and after a moment his tense expression broke into a smile.

I didn't follow his gaze, but kept my own on Edward's face. He was watching Demetri with alarm.

My nerves that were already on the breaking point, took another hit when a familiar sweet voice broke the dark silence.

"Demetri, my friend." Jane coed. "Where do you think you are taking her?"

"Are you following me Jane?" Demetri replied lightly, "Are you hoping that I'll share?"

Jane's voice was right behind us now. The back of my neck tingled, and shivers ran up and down my spine. I was sure Edward could feel me trembling. He held me even more protectively.

"No, of course I don't expect you to share. I've had singers of my own before. I would have killed the creature who thought they could have a taste of my prize." She moved around us and stood next to Demetri, surveying us.

"I do feel sorry for you Edward." She said after a moment of watching him try to calm me.

He glared at her, but didn't reply. I was glad. Even I could see that she was taunting him.

"All you had to do was bite her." Jane continued. "All you had to do was make it possible to be with her forever. Wouldn't that have saved you both so much trouble?" She paused and came a little closer. Edward let out a low growl, but didn't move.

"How much you must hate him Bella." I could feel her eyes on me now, but I didn't unbury my face from Edward's shoulder.

"I would hate him." Through her voice I could hear her smiling. Edward's breathing began to hitch and I could tell me was trying to control his temper. I hoped he would ignore her, I didn't want him to provoke her into hurting him. That was probably what she wanted.

"Is there something you needed Jane?" Demetri spoke next. "Because I'm a little impatient for my snack."

"I was just curious as to where you were going." Jane replied.

"Somewhere private." Demetri responded in a low voice, "Somewhere where I can… play with my food."

Jane's sweet laugh made me sick to my stomach. "Oh, you're one of those."

She moved out of sight behind us, back the way she had come. "Then I won't keep you." Her voice was farther away when she added. "Enjoy yourself!"

Edward's grip on me shouldn't have relaxed simply from Jane's exit, but it did. I became even more confused.

Now Demetri led us along even faster. My shaking legs and weak knees did not make for fast progress, so Edward scooped me up. He was so gentle that it barley hurt my arm. I closed my eyes and memorized what it felt like to be there, in his arms.

We made several more turns, but I didn't pay attention. I found myself thankful that Demetri wanted to kill me somewhere other than the castle. I knew it was a strange thing to be thankful for, but it gave us more time together.

"Here." Demetri's voice cut through the silence and we stopped. I looked around and recognized where we were. My breathing came in gasps and, in my panic, I forgot about my broken arm. I pushed uselessly away from Edward in an attempt to get back on my own feet. Everything I had endured had been in vain, the tracker had found him after all.

We were standing in front of the butcher shop beneath Lazzaro's apartment.

I twisted and thrashed against Edward's grasp, ignoring the pain of my screaming arm. "No!" I rasped, "No Edward, he can't be here. He can't know!"

"Shhh," Edward wasn't letting me go, he wasn't understanding. He was only trying to comfort me. "It's alright Bella, everything is alright." I was shocked when he spoke to Demetri next. "We have to get her inside."

"No!" My voice was fading from all of the screaming I had done through my torture. I couldn't scream for help, or warn Lazzaro about what was coming. I could only rasp uselessly into the night.

"No, Edward, we can't!" But it was too late.

Demetri was pushing open the door, and then we were on the staircase. When we reached the top, Demetri gently tapped on the door.

Edward was holding me tightly, concerned when I suddenly stopped fighting. I let the tears of defeat stream down my face as we waited for an innocent, unsuspecting man to come answer his door.

I heard the latch click and I sobbed for him.

When Emmett opened the door, I could have died from shock.


	17. Chapter 17

They were all there. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice; Lazzaro wasn't. I was too bewildered to ask questions, too shocked to even remember how to speak.

Edward laid me down on a low sofa that I knew too well. He didn't leave my side, but continued to hold my good hand while Carlisle began to examine my other. Alice sat on the floor by my head and began stroking my hair. Esme knelt beside Carlisle to help him work on my arm. Jasper and Emmett were continuously moving. Checking all of the windows and peering down into the street. Demetri stayed next to the door, watching us with a look of mild confusion. Rosalie sat silently in Lazzaro's rocking chair, staring at the ground.

At first none of them spoke. I was too confused to even know what questions to ask. Edward was rubbing my good arm anxiously. He was the first break the silence to ask anxiously. "Is she going to be alright Carlisle?"

Carlisle paused to pat Edward reassuringly on the shoulder. "Yes son, the break isn't bad, and what Elizabeth did to her will have no lasting effects."

Edward's head fell into his hands, he seemed unable to look me in the eye.

"I'm so sorry Bella." Alice spoke next. "When I saw what they were going to do to you…" She shook her head, unable to finish. "There was no other way."

I still couldn't find any words. I couldn't get over the shock of seeing them all here.

"We aren't in the clear yet." Emmett spoke from across the room. "Let's get this show on the road so that we can go home."

I assumed that he was talking about taking care of Demetri. I decided that Edward must have tricked him into coming here somehow. He must have known that his family was here waiting. That was the only explanation I could come up with.

Demetri, instead of backing up to retreat, walked toward us. I cringed automatically. Edward felt my hand clench in his, and he looked up to see what the cause was. He saw my terrified expression as I gazed up at the vampire who was now standing over us. Demetri's eyes were on Edward when he spoke, "I should get back soon. You're brother is right."

"What will you do about…" Edward let go of my hand and stood up, "about the memory?"

Demetri shook his head. "What I have to. I know of someone... I think it will work."

Edward nodded and the others watched, without looking even a fraction as shocked as I was, when the two of them shook hands.

"Go then." Edward returned to my side, and this time it was Carlisle who stood.

"I can never thank you enough for what you have done for my family." He also extended his hand to Demetri.

Demetri took it and his red gaze fell on my face when he answered. "And I can never thank Bella enough for protecting mine."

In an instant the pieces snapped into place.

"You're his uncle?" I whispered.

Demetri's looked surprised. "Yes. He told you about me?"

Now it was everyone else's turn to look confused.

I nodded. "He told me about the book you sent him."

Demetri smiled sadly. "I didn't know how to make him understand. It's too dangerous for him in this city, but he'll never leave. My family has lived here for so long… I guess it was only a matter of time before one of us became one of them. I'm doing my best to protect him, it's the only reason I'm still here."

I looked around at Lazzaro's things. "Where is he now?" I asked.

Demetri smiled, genuinely this time. "He, um, he conveniently got a letter from Alessa's school in France. They needed to see him right away. He left this morning."

I breathed a sigh of relief and let my head drop back against the arm of the sofa. Edward squeezed my hand and I looked at him. There were a thousand expressions hidden behind his eyes that were impossible to read, but he was smiling a little. For the moment, it felt like we were safe.

Alice's voice filled the room next. "You should go now Demetri, do whatever you have to do and then return to Aro."

I turned to see Demetri nod and head for the door. He paused in the doorway and looked at me. "I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for protecting my nephew. He's like a son to me, I owe you everything." Then he was gone.

The silence that followed Demetri's exit lasted a long time. I was watching Edward, looking into his nearly black eyes. I forgot that the rest of them were there, I barely felt the pricks of pain as Carlisle gently set my broken hand.

He was looking back at me with his millions of unreadable expressions. I couldn't understand.

"Bella…" He finally spoke with obvious difficulty. "Bella I'm so, so sorry." His melodic voice broke at the end.

I didn't speak, and he dropped his gaze as if he could no longer meet my eyes. He spoke to his hands.

"I thought you were dead." He was barely speaking above a whisper. "I thought that I'd lost you forever-"

"Edward." Alice's voice interrupted, it had that far away quality to it that I knew came only during one of her visions.

Edward looked up at her and I was reminded that we weren't alone.

"Carlisle!" Her voice sounded alarmed.

Jasper was at her side in an instant. I felt him gently extract her hand from my hair and hold it in his own. I couldn't see her face since she was behind my head, but I had a view of everyone else's reaction to her words and expression. Carlisle was wrapping my arm and tightly bound hand against me with a torn sheet, he looked up sharply.

"What is it Alice?" Carlisle and Jasper asked anxiously at the same time.

"It's time to go-" Alice's voice indicated that she had returned to the present. "We have to go now! Demetri is almost finished…"

In an instant Edward was scooping me up and all of them headed to the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I watched Emmett take Rosalie by the hand and pull her out of the chair. She was the only one that hadn't moved at all since Edward and I had arrived.

"Home." Edward replied as we hurried back into the night.

In his arms I felt like I was already there.


	18. Chapter 18

I was disconnected.

That was the only way to describe it. I knew I had feelings, I knew I had questions; millions of them. I knew I was tired and sore, that we were still in danger. I wasn't completely unaware of the way my broken hand was throbbing…

But it all felt so far away.

I wasn't connected to my body anymore. I wasn't connected to the present, I wasn't worried about the future. I didn't even feel connected to my past; Renee, Charlie, Jacob… they all felt like they belonged to someone else, like they were totally unrelated to me. I felt like someone else or like a bystander in my own head, my own life.

I was indifferent to my surroundings, even to Edward, who was holding on to me tightly as we hurried at nearly human speed through the winding alleys of Volterra. He glanced at me periodically with looks of concern. Sometimes I returned his gaze with what must have been a blank expression, sometimes I just watched over his shoulder as the buildings wound out of view behind us. It didn't matter. I didn't know what mattered anymore.

I didn't have anything left.

~*~

There was a car waiting for us near the wall that was just left of the city gate. It looked like something a retired doctor would drive. It was black, shiny, four-door sedan. Carlisle approached it and I heard the jingle of keys. It had just occurred to me that, although it looked roomy, there was no way that we would all fit. Then Carlisle popped open the trunk and without any discussion at all, Rosalie walked forward and folded herself gracefully inside of it. Emmett climbed in after her, and Carlisle shut the trunk door over them. I felt Edward's eyes on my face, gauging my reaction. I couldn't find one inside of me. I knew I normally would have been shocked, I would have asked if they were okay in there. I would have pointed out that it was dangerous, against the law, and unnecessary. A different Bella, the old Bella, would have said these things and Edward would have told me not to be absurd, that they would be perfectly fine. Even in a near hysterical state I would have at least found it amusing. I felt nothing, I didn't care.

Alice and Jasper were already in the back seat and Esme had slid into the passenger seat.

"Bella?" Edward whispered anxiously when my expression was unchanged.

I looked at him, trying to find myself enough to answer. I came up empty.

"You're going to be alright." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He walked us toward the door that Alice was holding open. "It's almost over."

Over. I knew that word.

_It's over._

_I looked over and the younger one was watching me with a look of mild confusion._

_I tripped over my own feet on my way to the empty seat._

_He looks you over like you're something to eat._

_I'm head over heels._

_He leaned over the hospital bed and kissed me on the forehead._

_It was over in an instant, they were dragging Jasper through the back door and out of sight._

_Edward and Bella are over._

_Bella can't get over him._

_She went over the cliff and I didn't see her come up._

_Why do you hold your arms over your chest like that?_

_It's been over six months, he's not coming back._

_Why couldn't Lazzaro understand? It was over, I was too late. I had failed._

_I can't take this pain, just let it be over._

_"It's almost over."_

I nodded without understanding and let him set me down on the backseat next to Alice. I felt her eyes on my face and her tiny arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Just go to sleep, Bella." She whispered. "It's been a bad dream, it will all be over when you wake up."

Over.

I hated that word.

~*~

Most of the rest of that night was a blur.

We drove quickly and at first there was nothing but silence. I watched lights and shapes flew meaninglessly past us. They began to talk quickly, their voices surrounding me, but it was a long time before I started listening. Before their words began to make sense. I fought my way back into control of myself. I forced myself to listen, to understand, and eventually, to respond.

I was back in my zombie state and I didn't understand why because Edward was here.

Edward was here. I was here. Everyone was okay and for the moment we were safe. I could breath again. I should've been able to breath again.

Edward was holding me to him, he was periodically kissing my forehead, my hair, me cheek. He was continuously stroking my cheek, rubbing my arm.

"Can you turn up the heat Carlisle?" It was the first thing that my mind chose to understand. It was Edward who spoke. "Bella's shivering."

I realized it was true, I was shaking. I hadn't noticed before. Was I cold? I didn't know.

Carlisle turned around to look at me as he reached for the temperature dial. "She's in shock. She's been through a lot the last several days."

Edward's grasp on me tightened and Alice reached for my hand. I was almost comforted, and I knew that Carlisle was right.

Alice's voice filled the car a moment later, it was her 'vision' voice. "Aro bought it." She reported simply.

They collectively breathed sigh of relief. "They won't come looking for her. Demetri succeeded."

Edward's head dropped against my shoulder. His hair and his scent tickled my nose. It made me feel strange.

He raised his head a moment later to look me in the eye. His relieved expression was overwhelming. I didn't understand what Alice's words meant, but I understood that look. We really were safe.

I smiled and he smiled back. His glorious crooked smile.

Alice's voice chimed as she sang, "Bella's back!"

Edward's answering chuckle slightly surprised me, and he turned his head so that he was facing the back seat. "Emmett says, 'Good!'" He reported, as though he could see Emmett through the seat into the trunk, "Finally!"

~*~

I had fallen asleep in the big black car, wrapped in Edward's arms. I woke up in a bright hotel room that had a floral smell and a lot of tall, thinly curtained windows.

I was stiff, I felt like I hadn't moved in years. It was so peaceful here, as I stretched out under the smooth sheets as I listened to the birds sing. The nearest window was cracked open and a light breeze was blowing across my face. I didn't care where I was or how I got there. I reveled in the quiet and chose not to remember what had happened or worry about what was going to happen. I closed my eyes again and willed myself to go back to sleep.

The next time my eyes opened, the room was the same but the light streaming in was different. It didn't have a rosy early morning quality to it, it was brighter, harsher. It reminded me of something; bright sunlight glinting off of the surface of water… in a fountain… a moment later I had tripped.

It all came rushing back.

I sat up quickly and panicked as my eyes searched the tiny hotel room. I found him in a chair, in the corner. He was out of range of the light coming through the thin veil of fabric that covered the windows. Light slanted across the floor, across the bed I was sitting on and part way up a wall that was painted yellow. He was dim in the shadow that enveloped the other side of the room.

Only his eyes moved. They searched my face as I let the memories back in. I didn't know what expression be saw there, on my face, but he didn't move. He stayed perfectly still and watched me warily.

I wanted to run to him, but I was afraid he wouldn't want me to.

We were safe now, both of us were alive. I wondered how long it would be until he left me again. I shuddered and tried not to think about it. I would stay in the present second only.

My voice came out raspy, it hadn't been used for a while. "Where are we?"

"Rome." Only his mouth moved.

"Where is everyone?" I remembered them all in Lazzaro's living room, in the car…

"Downstairs." He paused, his eyes never leaving mine. "Carlisle is booking us a flight home." His head finally moved as he nodded toward the phone next to the bed. "You should call Charlie."

I looked at the phone, but made no move to pick it up. This was unbearable. I didn't know why he was here, why didn't he tell Alice to stay with me instead… I had so many questions, I considered where to start. What I needed to know the most, in case he left again before they were all answered. Maybe he only waited around to make sure I was okay, so he could tell me goodbye again.

I looked back at him in time to see him open his mouth to speak. I couldn't let him. I couldn't give him to opportunity to say it. I knew his going was inevitable, but I would do what I could to prolong it. I wasn't ready, I would never be ready.

"Why did you do it?" The words fell out of my mouth quickly, before he could utter a sound.

His mouth snapped shut audibly and he looked confused. His perfect brow furrowed as he considered my words.

I instantly wished the words back. I was pretty sure I already knew why he had tried to end his life. It was guilt. He thought I had killed myself because of him, because he left me. In his unreasonably just mind he had come to the conclusion that the only way to validate that reality would be to end his own existence as well.

"To what are you referring?" He was uncharacteristically formal. Speaking carefully, watching my reaction to him warily. In this moment we were strangers.

I pulled my knees up to my chest under the sheet and wrapped my arms around them, with the broken hand resting on top. I could see my shadow across the bed before me, abnormally long and narrow. My hair was wild and I was trembling. I tried to hold myself together.

"Why did you ask to die?" My voice sounded stronger than I felt.

He looked like he was in pain, and I quickly decided I didn't want to know.

"Never mind." I said before he could speak. "I don't want you to tell me."

"I will." He offered and he finally moved to stand. He picked up the chair and brought it closer to the bed. The thin curtains blocked out the direct sunlight, but the room was still very bright and his skin glowed. He sat the chair next to the bed. Now that he was out of the shadows I could see his face clearly. It was so beautiful that it hurt.

He observed my grimace and assumed wrongly that it had something to do with our closer proximity to each other. He looked apologetic as he scooted the chair back a little.

"Bella." Hearing his voice wrap around my name made my chest squeeze. Unexplained tears filled my eyes and I couldn't look at him.

"Bella, are you alright?" There was anxiety in his voice.

I nodded.

"Look at me please." I couldn't deny him anything so I met his eyes and felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Of course you aren't alright," he murmured, almost to himself. Then he frowned, "I want to tell you everything." He didn't take his eyes away from mine. I wanted to climb into the inky blackness and stay there forever. "I want you to know everything," he repeated, "but I don't know if you're ready."

I knew the answer to that right away. "I'm not." I told him simply. I wanted to know everything that had happened. I wanted to know all of the reasons, but I didn't want to hear it now. I still felt fragile.

Edward nodded and almost looked relieved.

"But you have to promise me something." I was surprised to hear myself making demands.

"Anything."

"You can't leave again until we talk."

He opened his mouth like he was about to say something else before he changed his mind.

"I promise."


	19. Chapter 19

I was in the forest outside of La Push, hurrying after a large figure wearing a dark cloak. It was twilight, and I was having a hard time following him as he lumbered through the trees and often blended in with the shadows. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get close enough to him to see the face beneath the hood, though he kept his pace slow and purposeful. I fell down over and over, scraping my leg on large tree roots which tore my pants and made my leg bleed just below my shin. A wolf howled in the distance.

The trees gave way to buildings. They were not the humble dwellings of the Quileute tribe that I had been expecting to see, but the tall, ancient buildings of an old Italian city. The hooded figure continued along the dirt path as it suddenly became an uneven stone cobbled street. The space between the buildings narrowed and I began to gasp at the claustrophobia that attacked me in this horribly familiar place. I wanted to turn and run back into the safety of the forest, but couldn't. I had to follow the cloaked figure.

He never turned around, but continued to weave through the narrow streets and alleyways. The uneven stones slowed me down, and several times I thought I had lost him, but finally he stopped at the mouth of yet another cramped alleyway. I stopped behind him, and looking past him I observed a girl at work painting a door into one of the buildings. The door was faded and grey, but was coming to life as her brush passed over it leaving a shiny red streaks of paint behind. Her back was to us, and her honey colored hair was familiar as it hung down the back of her pink sweater. She was singing.

The cloaked figure moved forward toward her silently. I had an intense feeling of foreboding, but could not make my voice heard and my feet refused to carry me forward to intervene. I watched helplessly as Demetri descended on her. Angela Webber's eyes widened as she turned around at his approach, she didn't even have time to scream. The next streak of red that colored the door was darker and much more sinister.

~*~

"Hush Bella, shhhh!" Alice's soothing voice cut through my dream and forced me back to the present. The dim lights inside the cabin of the plane reflected off of Alice's wide eyes. Her arm was around me and she was soothingly stroking my hair. "It was only a dream," she cooed, "It's alright now… Jasper?"

Jasper knelt in the aisle of the deserted first class cabin and reached across Alice's lap to take my hand. My racing heart slowed and my tears ceased before I even had time to realize that they were falling. Under Jasper's power I stopped trembling, but couldn't quite shake the horrific images I'd just experienced.

"She's alright now." Alice reported to the array of familiar pale faces that now made up my audience. One face stood out with the most concern. His father patted his shoulder reassuringly, but it didn't erase the anxiety from his eyes.

"You should try to go back to sleep, Bella," Carlisle suggested. "If you can. We'll be in New York in a couple of hours."

I felt the color rising to my cheeks as I felt seven pairs of black eyes continue to watch me intently. "I'm not really tired anymore." I muttered, unsure where to look. Jasper must have felt my discomfort because in the next moment I began to feel more at ease.

"You're probably hungry." Alice suggested, and she was out of her leather seat faster than I could object. "I'll go find a flight attendant and see what they have to eat."

"No really," I said uselessly, "I'm not hungry, honest."

"Actually I think that's a good idea." Carlisle nodded as Alice disappeared behind the curtain that separated us from economy class. I was aware that he Cullen's were insanely wealthy, but it was only in situations like this that I had a true sense of just how much money they had at their disposal. In the interest of guaranteeing our privacy they had not only bought eight first-class tickets from Rome to New York, but also all of the remaining first-class seats on the flight. We had the entire cabin to ourselves.

As soon as the seat beside me was vacant, Edward slipped into it and the rest of them went back to their own places around the cabin. Rosalie was flipping through a fashion magazine, Emmett was leaning back in the seat beside her with headphones on and his eyes closed. Esme and Carlisle we talking quietly with their heads together at the front of the room, and Jasper sat across the aisle, eyeing my warily.

"Are you alright?" Edward murmured. I was finding it hard to understand his attitude toward me. It was obvious that he still cared about me and that he was worried about me. He barely ever left my side. But, there was a tension between us that I had no words to describe.

"Yes." I replied with a sigh. "It was just a nightmare." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye to find him watching me intently. I fought back the urge to look away and shield my face with my hair. I forced myself to calmly return his gaze.

"Was it…" He paused and I noticed his hand tighten on the armrest making to tendons on his forearms stand out. I experienced a moment of déjà vu. This felt just like the beginning. He cleared his throat and released the armrest when he noticed me watching him tensely. He clenched his fists in his lap and continued. "The nightmare… was it about me?"

"No." I replied quickly, maybe too quickly since the next words spilled out before I could stop them. "No dream with you in it could be a nightmare."

He read my face, as if trying to decide whether or not I was being honest. Then he shook his head and let out a long breath. "I cant…" His struggle was obvious, but I didn't know what it meant. Was it hard for him to be here with me? Was he so anxious to go? Maybe he just wanted to get our discussion over with so that he could be on his way. When I suddenly felt his icy hand wrap gently around my broken one I jumped with surprise. The current was still there; between us, I couldn't be the only one that felt it. "I can't bear this." He finished, and then suddenly he let go as Alice returned with a flight attendant.

"Is there anything I can get anyone?" The tall middle aged woman smiled around the cabin. Too professional to act surprised at the odd situation of us being there alone, and most of us unreasonably attractive.

Alice looked at me pointedly, but I had been telling the truth when I said I wasn't hungry. I was still tired though, but too afraid to go back to sleep. I needed caffeine. I ignored the look of disapproval I received from the perfect face next to me when I asked for a Coke. He knew I had a low tolerance for caffeine. But desperate times, I thought, called for desperate measures.

She left the cabin to fulfill my request and Alice went over to sit next to Jasper. Edward never offered to give her back the seat beside me, and she didn't ask for it.

He seemed to regain a little of his composure and apparently decided to change the subject. The direction our conversation had been taking wasn't one that I wanted to have with his entire family as an audience, and apparently he felt the same. I knew we couldn't put off that discussion forever, I suspected it would happen when we reached New York. We had a six hour layover once we got there. I also planned to call Charlie.

"So what's new at home?" Edward tried to sound casual and light. I could sense the effort that it took.

"Oh you know," I tried to match his tone, "Same old, same old."

He frowned at me and saw the flicker of fear that I couldn't hide in my face when I thought about what was waiting for me in the supposedly quiet town of Forks. Had the werewolves tracked down Victoria yet? Was it safe to go back? Were Jacob and Charlie alright?

"I didn't make you any safer did I?" It was a statement, not a question.

"What?"

"Werewolves? Laurent? Victoria? I've seen everything that Alice knows, and Bella, you have to understand that I didn't know any of it. I never would have left you if I thought…"

"Edward stop." I interrupted him.

He looked surprised, but obeyed.

"I don't blame you for any of it." I looked down at my hands so that I would be able to continue. I couldn't say the words while looking at his face. "You can't… you can't possible protect me from every bad thing that I come across in the world. This is just how life is for me. You can't stay with me out of guilt… none of it is your fault. I'll be fine, the pack will protect me… you don't… you don't have to worry."

This statement was met with empty silence. I continued to stare down at my hands, while I waited for some kind of response. The voice that broke the silence, wasn't the one that I was expecting.

"Here's your Coke hon." I looked up in surprise and Edward took the can from the flight attendant's hands. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you." I managed to whisper as the flight attendant left, and we both noticed my hands were trembling when I picked up the Coke that Edward had set in the cup holder before me.

"Bella, look at me."

I did. His granite brow was furrowed with obvious worry and frustration. He took the cup back out of my hand deliberately and returned it to the cup holder. He adjusted his position so that we were facing one another and he carefully took each of my hands in his. "I can't stand this anymore." He whispered. "I know you have no reason to believe me now - Bella - I know I have no right to burden you with this… but it can't be helped. Even now, after everything I watched you endure, even after all of this evidence," His eyes roamed me, from my broken hand to the cut on my leg, "that I was right to think that you are safer without me. It's... it's too late, and I see that now, almost unbearably clearly. You _would_ have been better off if you hadn't ever known me, but you do know me, nothing can change that and I was wrong to try to amend it. I was wrong to leave you, to lie to you, even more than I was wrong to let myself love you---"

His words poured out so quietly, and with such urgency, that I had trouble hearing them and even more trouble absorbing them. "Edward," I whispered in reply, "what are you trying to say?"

He had been looking down at our connected hands, but now he looked up to meet my eyes. Despite everything there was an undercurrent of joy in the next words that he uttered. Even in my disbelief I heard it, and against all of the odds and my better judgment a part of me began to hope.

"I love you Bella." He said simply, "I never stopped loving you."


	20. Chapter 20

There was a roaring in my ears which I knew had more to do with blood rushing to my head and less to do with the sound of the jet's engines.

I stared at him for what felt like a long time, waiting for understanding to dawn. _I never stopped loving you. _

I said each word to myself slowly, willing my mind to understand, and then shook my head when it didn't work. He was watching me tensely, but the small curve of a smile lingered on his lips.

"What?" I whispered incredulously, sounding breathless. I couldn't possibly have heard him right.

Whatever expression my face held must have been encouraging, because the next words poured from him unhindered, "I love you Bella. I will love you until the end of my existence. I was wrong to think that we could survive apart. I'm sorry Bella. There aren't words to tell you how sorry I am."

In the next moment all of the blood was rushing out of my head and I felt slightly off balance, even sitting down. I continued to stare stupidly at him, unable to figure out what I was supposed to say or how I was supposed to feel.

Now he looked a little concerned at my prolonged silent and pale state. His eyes searched my face. "Say something Bella, please." The small smile he had been wearing vanished. "Tell me what you are thinking."

My first instinct was the dive over the armrest and into his stony grasp. I wanted to curl up in his lap and stay there indefinitely. Slowly though, my mind was beginning to work again. I realized I wasn't breathing when my vision began to blur, and I inhaled sharply. I spoke the first words that my mind provided me with.

"I don't believe you." Even to my own ears it sounded wrong. Emotionless. It wasn't sarcastic or angry, surprised or relieved. My face, that was usually so easy for him to read, must not have held any answers either.

Whatever he expected my reaction would be, this apparently wasn't it. He tried to reach up to soothingly stroke my cheek, but I pulled my face away. "Bella!" He sounded surprised, but resigned. "I know you've been through a lot these last few days, and I can't expect you to accept this right away, but it's the truth. I love you, and I only left because I thought it would be better for you. Safer. I was wrong, and we both suffered for it. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I do love you and I am sorry…"

"Stop." I whispered. My hands began to tremble and I felt cold.

His onyx eyes were still searching for answers in my expression, but they didn't find any. He leaned forward and grasped my face between his icy hands, this time ignoring my attempts to pull away.

"I've hurt you." He squeezed my jaw, a little less than gently when I wouldn't meet his gaze. I forced my eyes up and into his face, trying to see through the tears that were clouding my vision. "I've hurt you." he repeated. "In ways that I can see in your face, and in ways that are hidden from me. Every mark on you body, every bruise, every scrape, I feel. Every tear that runs down you cheek in a pain that runs through my heart… it's, excruciating… and yet it isn't enough. I can't live with myself, knowing that I'm responsible. I don't deserve the gift of getting to see your face again, and yet I can't look away. I can't leave you again. I can't stop loving you. I know that you can't trust me now, I know that maybe the mistakes I've made are irreversible. Maybe you can't return my feelings anymore, but Bella, you have to know that they haven't changed…"

"Stop!" This time I said it louder. Loud enough that a corner of my mind registered Alice's face turned quickly toward us.

"What is it?" Edward let go of my face and sat back. My cheeks burned where his fingers had been placed.

"You…" I cleared my throat and tried to think clearly. "You love me?"

The flicker of a smile returned and he looked me squarely in the face as he answered, "Truly I do."

I let this sink in, and was surprised at the onslaught of feelings that bombarded me. It was like dying, the way my life was flashing before my eyes. Every emotion I'd ever experienced, and some I hadn't until right then overwhelmed me. I remembered kissing him for the first time, the first time our hands touched, the electricity in a dark class room, a blue van that couldn't crush me, a bright meadow, a stormy field, a ballet studio, a broken mirror, a broken promise, a broken heart…

"You couldn't possibly." I heard myself whisper.

"I do, Bella. I love you more than I can say---"

"No." I said thickly. If I could have found my voice enough to yell, I would have. But it only came out as another whisper. I was angry, I realized. I was hurt, and relieved, and skeptical, and happy, and a million other emotions; but mostly I was mad. How could he love me and put me though what I had endured over the last 6 months of my life? How could he leave me without explanation, without even looking back? Was this how you treated someone that you love?

No, Bella decided, it wasn't.

"You have no reason to believe me Bella," Edward continued, "if you want to believe that I don't love you and never did, then everything I told you when we were together was a lie. If you want to believe that I always loved you, and still do, then what I told you in the forest was a lie. Either way, I don't expect you to trust me right away. After what I put you through in Volterra ---"

I shivered involuntarily, and he saw it.

"I'm so sorry for that, I can't even tell you... Bella, when I thought you were dead, I - I couldn't bear to go on, I wanted someone to destroy me… but when I saw you being tortured, being hurt because of me, because of my stupidity, I wanted to destroy myself."

I was crying now. It was becoming the kind of hysterical crying of someone very tired, who wasn't sure what they were crying about the most; someone who had gone through a terrible and shocking ordeal. When he wrapped his arms around me I didn't try to pull away. I didn't know if I should or even if I wanted to. I let him hold me and I sobbed into his shoulder, ruining his shirt.

"Shhh," he held me tightly, and I felt his chin rest on the top of my head. Maybe I should have pulled away and told him to leave. I didn't know what to do, what to believe; so I stayed. I breathed in his scent and wished, for the millionth time, that I could go back to the day of my 18th birthday, and not cut my finger on a stupid piece of wrapping paper. And then I wished that I hadn't jumped off of the cliff in La Push. And then I wished, for the first time since I met Edward, that I hadn't moved to Forks in the first place. And then I wished that I knew what to do. And then I wished for a Kleenex, because I was crying really hard.


	21. Chapter 21

**This is part one of this chapter, it's a two parter.**

Sometime during the course of my melt-down I fell asleep on his shoulder. I didn't wake up again until we reached New York. I was so exhausted. I felt like a year of sleep wouldn't be enough.

Edward gently prodded me awake. It took me a moment to remember where I was, and when I did I wished I hadn't tried. I was in a mess. Everything was a mess.

"Shall I carry you?" Edward whispered as we stood to exit the plane. "You can go back to sleep, you don't have to worry about anything."

I glared at him.

Alice took my arm as we left the plane and I could sense Edward walking behind us, though I never turned to look.

Carlisle got two cabs which took all of us to a near-by hotel. We had a six hour layover, and I guess no one felt like seeing the sights. I didn't.

I didn't pay attention to where we were, I just went wherever Alice led me. We went into an elevator inside a shiny gold and burgundy lobby. Jasper and Edward were in the elevator with us. Carlisle and the others were still at the front desk. We stopped at the top floor. Edward opened the door to the room and Alice nodded for me to go inside. I did, and Edward shut the door behind us, leaving Alice and Jasper in the hallway.

I knew we had to talk, we had to get it over with, but I still wanted to be angry. I stood in the room's entry, not looking around, but just staring at Edward's feet. His shoes were different. He'd usually worn brown ones when we lived in Forks. These were grey and casual looking, like designer tennis shoes. I didn't even know if there were such a thing, but… I could feel his eyes on me, he was leaning against the door. I didn't know why my thoughts were rambling, but it helped me not to focus on the fact that we were alone. Finally, for the first time since that afternoon in the woods behind me house.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice broke the silence, and it was strained.

"Your shoes." I replied flatly, finally looking up at him. He looked terrible, or as terrible as an angel carved from ice can look. The shadows beneath his eyes were darker than I had ever seen them, his lips were pale, nearly colorless.

He gave me a hint of my favorite crooked smile, but it was wrong somehow. "Be serious please."

I looked away again. It was painful to look at him. "I am serious." I told him. "I was being honest, I was really thinking about your shoes. I've never seen you wear shoes like that. You had a pair of black ones, I remember, but usually you wore those brown ones with the really thin laces. I liked them a lot. You were wearing them the last time I saw you, I remember because I was looking at them. I was looking down at your shoes when you disappeared. I wish I hadn't been, because maybe I would've seen which way you went. I tried to follow you. I thought maybe I could catch you at first. Which was stupid. I even looked for footprints. I knew it was pointless… I had to keep moving. It rained and it got dark and I just kept walking. I don't know why I did that."

I turned my back to him and walked over to the giant bed. I sat down on a corner of it and looked out the long window without seeing anything.

"I repeated those words in my head over and over again, the ones you said to me. You didn't want me anymore, you didn't love me. I tried to tell myself that they didn't make any sense, but deep down I knew they did. I knew that I had been expecting something like that all along. It didn't make sense for you to love me. It didn't makes sense if you were never going to change me. You didn't want me forever, and you never had. It made sense, and so I couldn't hate you for it."

He was silent, I didn't know if he had moved. I couldn't stop talking, and he let me go on without interrupting. It was almost like I was alone in the room.

"I don't think I want you to tell me that you regret what you did. That you love me and you always have and that you only left to keep me safe. I'm afraid that if I believe that then I'll hate you for it, and I don't want to hate you."

My voice was getting thick and I could feel the tears threaten to spill over. I went on, I had to get this out before I fell apart.

"I thought you were gone." I swallowed, and continued. "In Italy, when I tripped in the crowd and heard the bell chime, I thought I had failed. I did fail.

"I lived for days thinking that you were gone and wondering how I would be able to live with myself. I thought that the only thing keeping me going when you left me was knowing that you were still out there somewhere… but then, when I was with Lazarro after I thought you were gone. I… I realized I was wrong. I'm a monster for thinking it, but I thought that maybe that knowledge, knowing that you were still out there somewhere… maybe it was the thing that was holding me hostage." That was all I could get out before the lump in my throat choked off my words and the tears got the best of me. I dropped my head into my hands and let the racking, bitter sobs get the best of me. I felt his weight on the bed beside me, but he didn't touch me. I tried to get myself under control so I could keep talking. I had to tell him these things, not to hurt him, but so that he would know what kind of a person I really was. If I told him all of my darkest thoughts, the ones that he could so easily find in other people, maybe he wouldn't want me anymore. He would see that I wasn't special, that I was like anyone else, maybe even worse than most people. I would be honest with him because that's what I expected in return. And if the honest truth was that he didn't love me after all, I would know that it was for the right reasons. It was an agonizing possibility, one that I tried not to dwell on.

I cleared my throat and wiped at my eyes with my hands. "I ---" The next part stick in my throat and I tried not to imagine his expression. Clearing my throat again, I went on. "I don't think it was relief exactly, because I was devastated. I don't think you can possible understand what it was like to try to imagine a world were you no longer existed. I didn't know how I was still living just having that knowledge inside of me. I thought I should have been dead… I wanted to be."

I heard his intake of breath and fought the urge to look at him. I kept my head down so that my hair was a curtain between us… just like the first day.

I knew that if I looked at him I wouldn't be able to say any of the rest of it. I knew I would see myself in his eyes as the monster I was.

"It was guilt that drove me to Volterra. Just like it was guilt that drove you there. You thought I had killed myself because of you, and I thought that you had killed yourself because of me. We can't go on like this. If you don't love me Edward, you don't owe me anything… I'm going to die someday, it's a simple fact. It might be tomorrow, or it might be in a hundred years, but it's going to happen. When I die, I don't want you to do anything irrational. I don't want to carry the responsibility of your existence too. I can't live like that."

There was nothing more. The silence lasted for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few moments.

I felt him rise off of the bed and then his shoes were in my vision again, and then his face as he knelt in front of me.

"You aren't a monster." He told me, searching my face.

Relief swept over me, and I closed my eyes.

"Look at me Bella." I opened my eyes and he continued. "I don't want you to feel responsible for what I do or what I've done. I don't want you to think that I'm telling you I still love you out of guilt, or gratitude for saving me and my family, or any other reason other than that it's the truth. It's the truth Bella. I will exist forever because I have to, but I want you to know that I didn't start _living_ until I found you, and the day I decided to leave you I died. You've changed me Bella, and I can't go back and I don't want to. If you'll have me, I want to come back to Forks, I want to pick up where we left off and I want to prove to you that I was wrong and that I'm sorry."

My breath caught in my throat, his face was only inches away. I was enveloped in his scent and captivated by his eyes. The hole in my chest was healed. Everything I'd hoped for in the darkest time of my life was happening. There was a small part of me that wanted to be careful. A small part that knew there was a lot left to say… but he was there, and I was there. Gravity is a strong force that can't be overcome. I leaned forward, but he was already coming toward me. Our lips met, hesitantly at first, and then recklessly. The past evaporated and nothing else mattered. I was whole again.


	22. Chapter 22

Time stood still.

Our lips molded together and moved in unison. The delightful coldness of his sent a jolt all the way down to my toes. My mind was reeling and I smiled when I thought, 'it's just like riding a bike.' It was a stupid thing to think about while my one true love and fate was trying to win me back, but it couldn't be helped. It was like he'd never been gone, everything came rushing back. The small part of me that had wanted to be careful evaporated in the instant that our lips met. This felt right. It wasn't until the room started tilting and Edward grabbed my shoulders that I realized I had been holding my breath. I took a gasping breath and it didn't exactly help. I opened my eyes and shook my head slightly, trying to focus. Everything was gray and blurry around the edges… bright spots appeared in my vision. It was a familiar feeling, and a dreaded one. More than anything, it was really bad timing.

"Are you alright?" He was chuckling a little and trying to pull my lips back to his.

I tried to smile and focus on his face at that same time. I'm not sure I was successful on either count.

"Bella?" Now his voice was a little anxious, and through the haze I saw him frowning.

I fought to hold on to my consciousness… it was a losing battle.

He shook me slightly, but I couldn't see him anymore. I wasn't sure which way was up. I was vaguely aware of a strong cold hand on the back of my head.

"Deep breaths." His sounded far away. "Don't you dare pass out on me."

The threat in his voice was so familiar. It was the only part of him that I hadn't been forced to miss in his absence. The roaring in my ears quieted and I realized he was holding my head between my knees.

"I'm alright." I told him when my vision cleared. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed.

"I'll be the judge of that." I tried to pull myself up, but he kept a firm hand over my hair. "Just stay still a minute; deep breaths."

I obeyed and waited, breathing deeply and feeling slightly relieved that he couldn't see my face, which I knew was bright red.

"Better?" He finally asked.

"Yes," I replied and the hand in my hair relaxed. "I'm sorry." I raised my head and everything stayed upright and in place.

"Don't apologize." There was just the tiniest hint of a smirk hidden beneath the concerned set of his mouth.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He was looking at me intently and I tried to laugh it off.

"Just like old times."

This time he let the crooked smile show all the way. "That's sort of what I was thinking."

"Would you like a round of applause?" I knew he couldn't have forgotten what I'd said to him the last time his kiss had thrown me off balance.

"I would much rather pick up where we left off." He turned serious again, "If you're up to ---"

His words were cut short when my mouth forced them into another activity. Less talking.

I half expected him to pull back. I thought he would probably try to resist, for the benefit of us both. I even thought that maybe, because of our long absence from one another, the smell of my blood would be too much for him. Apparently I was wrong. _Thank goodness _I was wrong.

I was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and he was still kneeing before me. His cold hands were cupping my face, holding my mouth to his. I'd always kissed and been kissed with my eyes closed, but I couldn't bear to have him out of my sight, even for this. When I opened mine they looked directly into his, apparently he wanted to see me too.

The kiss wasn't careful. When I lifted my feet off the floor and wrapped my legs around his waist, there wasn't the reproachful, "Bella…" that I half expected. Instead, he moved his hands from my face to the small of my back and pulled me closer, off the edge of the bed and onto his knee. I smiled, and I felt his smile in response. There was a little voice in the back of my head that wouldn't stop saying, "You're kissing Edward! You're kissing Edward! You're kissing Edward!…"

After a few moments, he suddenly stood, so carefully that I barely noticed. His mouth never left mine; we never broke the kiss as he moved to set me against the headboard of the bed and then positioned himself next to me. His hands were running through my hair, and between choppy, ragged breaths, he was saying my name.

It lasted forever. His mouth finally released mine, but his forehead stayed pressed against mine and we both tried to catch our breath.

"What was I thinking?" He was almost begging. He reached his hand up to wipe a tear away from my cheek. It was in that moment that I realized I was crying.

"Then or now?" I asked, frightened that he was already regretting our kiss.

"_Then, _Bella." He pushed my hair away from my face and sat back to see me better. His black eyes searched my face, as if his answers would be there. "How could I have left this? How could I have left you?"

"I… I don't want to think about it." I picked up one of his hands and placed it gently in my broken one, tracing the lines in his palm with one of my fingers. "The important thing is that you're here now."

He lifted his free hand to push my chin up so that I was looking at him. "The important thing," he corrected, "is that I'm never going to leave you again."

The tears came back fresh, but we both ignored them, our lips had found each other's again.

~*~

We were quiet for a while. Laying on the bed in each other's arms, reveling in simply being alive and being together. I was so relieved and relaxed that I might have slept, I'm not really sure.

Edward broke the silence after a while, "Alice is coming to the door. Carlisle wants to talk to us, to have a family meeting."

I pushed myself up, just as there was a light knock on the door. "What does he want to talk about?"

There was a brief flicker of worry behind his eyes, and his expression darkened for a moment as he took a deep breath. "He wants to talk about the future, about the werewolves, and Victoria, and Italy, and the small matter of us moving back to Forks."

"All of you?" I felt a smile beginning to break across my face. "You're all coming back?" I ignored the squeeze of my stomach when he mentioned the werewolves and pushed Jacob's broken expression out of my mind. I couldn't think about him right now.

Edward looked down at his hands and seemed troubled. "If you'll let us… There are a few things we need to tell you, about what happened in Italy, with Demetri and the Volturi. I'm going to be honest with you from now on Bella, I don't ever want to lie to you about anything."

"Why would you have to lie?" His face troubled me. Something wasn't right.

"Let's just go talk to them." Edward lifted me off the bed and carried me to the entry of our room, setting me down just before he opened the door to greet Alice.

She was smiling at us, though there was the same worry poorly hidden in her expression. "Carlisle's called a family meeting, but I guess you already knew that."

Edward, I suspected for my benefit, gave her a crooked smile and gently closed the door behind us.

With the click of the latch I felt a sense of foreboding. Something was happening, or had already happened, something that they dreaded telling me. I felt like, with the closing of the door, we were shutting out the small bit of serenity we'd just shared.

I felt like our moment of peace would turn out to be nothing more than that, a moment.


	23. Chapter 23

I walked between Alice and Edward down the hall toward the other hotel room where we would have the family meeting. The air felt thick. I could almost feel the thoughts that were flying from Alice's consciousness to Edward's. He had me by the hand, but no one spoke. Out loud anyway.

We paused outside of the door and Alice took my other hand. She looked me squarely, honestly, in the eyes. "I love you, Bella. Don't forget that I love you." I looked back at her and was frightened. She looked scared too. Wide eyed and worried. I remembered with a shudder what had happened, just days ago, right after she'd said those same words to me. I forced myself to remember that Aro wasn't behind this door, Edward's family was.

I tried to smile, and couldn't. "I love you too, Alice."

She blinked and couldn't smile either. She turned to Edward who barely nodded at her. She opened the door to the room and I began to follow her.

Edward grabbed my arm as the door began to swing shut, pulling me back in to the hallway. "Wait a minute, Bella."

There was undisguised desperation in his voice as he pulled me toward him. His other hand shot out to catch the door before it closed all the way.

His face was very close to mine, earnest and serious. "I have to tell you something before we go in there." His eyes searched my face and his voice was strained with intensity. "I want you to know that if you want me to, I will change you."

His words hung in the air between us. My mind was trying and failing to understand. I searched for the answers, or the catch, in his eyes and found nothing. "What?" I whispered.

"All you have to do is say the words, Bella, and I'll make you like me." His infallible, honest eyes bored into mine.

"Why?" Now? He was willing to do this now?

Sometimes when we had a difficult conversation, when we had to confess things to one another or talk about our pasts, he would look away and talk very quickly. He would talk to his feet, or his hands in his lap, or to the windshield. I suspected it was a nervous habit from his human life. Right now though, he wasn't flinching or looking away, he was speaking slowly and deliberately. He must have known how hard this would be for me to take in.

"Because I need you to have that option." One of his fingers traced my jaw line as he held our faces close. "Alice saw it all along. It was reckless and stupid of me to try to fight our future. We have a future together Bella, we can't change it, and I don't want to.

"And because Jasper told me, in the dungeons of Volterra, what you were feeling back home when we were together. And what you were feeling when you thought I was dead…" His smile was a little strained as he remembered, "He said if I didn't do it, he would do it himself."

I gasped in surprise, but didn't interrupt him. The day that Jasper was willing to change me…

"And because I miss my family… but I can't face them without you. But I can't be solitary anymore, I can't stand it. Even Rosalie, _Rosalie_, thinks I should change you…" He pushed a strand of hair away from my face. "And because it would be forever." I didn't miss the gleam in his eyes, despite the endless tears that were welling up in my own. "An _eternity_, Bella."

We both heard my heart stutter at the thought.

"But mostly," he finished, "It's because it's what you want." He brought his lips to touch mine.

When he pulled away I said, "Oh. Is that all?" My voice, sarcasm, and smile were weak, but he caught them all and gave me my favorite crooked smile in return.

"No," he told me, "that's not even the half of it… You don't have to decide this minute. I mean, you shouldn't… Come on, they're waiting."

My heart, which moments ago had been filled with dread, was now light with relief.

He wasn't leaving me. He wanted me for forever.

~*~

I didn't have to be Jasper to sense the tense atmosphere of the room. I didn't have to be Edward to know the troubled thoughts around me. And I didn't have to be Alice to see that a difficult conversation was in my future.

My smile faded as soon as we entered the crowded hotel room.

"Thank you for coming, Bella." Carlisle spoke and rose to his feet from one of the wooden chairs they'd moved from the small kitchen nook to the living area. There was a couch that held Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme, and an armchair that was empty. Jasper stood against one wall alone, surveying the room and balancing the mood. Alice was anxiously perched on the other kitchen chair. Edward led me to the armchair, and stood next to it. Almost protectively, I thought.

"So…" I broke the heavy silence and my voice wavered slightly. "What's this about?"

"We thought we would begin by talking about what's been happening in Forks since we left." Carlisle began. "Alice has told us a little of what she learned when she returned to… retrieve you, but perhaps you could fill us in on the mess we left behind."

"It's not your fault..." I began, but Edward growled a little in the back of his throat and so I rephrased my reassurance. "I was never in any danger. Jacob and the pack - the werewolves - they're taking care of it… I sort of, ran into Laurent in the woods. He left Denali, he said the life-style didn't suit him. He was looking for me, as a favor to Victoria. She wants me dead. Jacob and the pack came along and killed Laurent, and now they're going after Victoria. It might even already be taken care of…" My voice trailed off as I watched the Cullen's exchange a series of looks that varied from worried, to angry, to restrained. None of them spoke though.

"What?" I finally asked.

"The werewolves… they're dangerous, Bella." Carlisle told me. "We just don't like the idea that we left you to depend on them."

"They would never hurt me," I replied. "Jacob is my best friend; they were protecting me from Victoria before I left. Laurent would have killed me if it weren't for the pack."

"We need to take care of Victoria ourselves." Emmett stated fiercely. "We shouldn't have left our mess to those dogs."

I felt a prickle of anger at his words. Dogs? I thought about defending them, but decided that would only drag this conversation out further.

"I think you're right Emmett," Carlisle nodded. "We need to go back to Forks and finish what we've started… Is that okay with you, Bella?"

"I don't want you to put yourselves in any danger over me-" I began, but Edward placed a hand on my shoulder.

"We won't be in any danger." He told me. "We can handle the female."

"I do want you to come back." I was selfish enough to admit.

"Does anyone have any reason why we shouldn't return?" Carlisle turned his attention to his family.

I looked to Rosalie, expecting that if any of them were going to object, it would be her.

She was looking at me, the expression in her eyes was hard to read. Was it pity? I was confused. I couldn't think of a reason for her to feel sorry for me. I looked away, to each of the others. No one said anything, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Very well," Carlisle said slowly. There was a moment of tense silence and I was filled with unease. I had a feeling this wasn't the end, or the point, of the conversation.

"Before we make any more plans, Bella, we need to acquaint you with all that happened in Italy. You have a right to know the truth. Edward has made it clear that he wants you to know everything. There are some of us who thought it would be better not to share this with you… but, well, you have a right. If you join our family, you'll find out sooner or later anyway, and if this changes your decision…"

"Let's just start at the beginning." Edward interrupted. "Alice, start with your vision…"

"But Bella already knows -" Alice began.

"It's the beginning, Alice." Edward cut in with ringing finality.

She sighed, defeated, and rose from her chair to come by my side. She took my trembling hand as she sat on the arm of my chair, and began at the beginning.

"It was one of the strongest visions I've ever experienced, Bella. It was so clear and vivid, so absolute, that it didn't occur to me to doubt it. I saw you when you were standing at the top of the rocks. The wind was blowing your hair back, and your expression was so peaceful. You had this tiny smile on your face, and your lips were moving, like you were talking to someone." I felt myself blush, remembering Edward's stern voice in my ear.

"At first I thought you were just enjoying the view." Alice was looking at our entwined fingers. "And then you walked forward and I saw that you weren't wearing shoes… that's when I realized what was about to happen. I couldn't believe that you would do it, I even called out to stop you, but it was too late and you had already… well, you jumped." Her eyes met mine, and I could picture myself in her mind. How crazy I must have looked, suicidal. "You weren't a bit scared, I could see that in your face." She shook her head at me. "You screamed, and then you hit the water. I waited and waited for you to come up… and when you didn't, I knew you were dead."

Edward had my other hand, and squeezed. I didn't look at him, afraid to see his expression.

"I told the others what I had seen. Carlisle and Esme were hunting, and I didn't know what else to do, so I headed south as fast as I could."

"I called Edward." Rosalie interrupted. I realized that I hadn't heard her speak in the whole time that I had been reunited with the Cullens. "I wasn't thinking." Her voice was strained, and wavered. Emmett put his arm around her. "I told him that you had committed suicide. I told him I was sorry, and that Alice was going to help Charlie get through it. I should've made him come back to us first… I shouldn't have…" She couldn't go on. She looked as though she would be in tears if it were possible.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay." Emmett pulled her to him and placed a hand in her hair to press her face to his chest.

"It's not." She resisted his hand and looked me directly in the eyes. "I'm sorry Bella. I owe you everything. Thank you for saving our family." Her apology was unexpected and caught me off guard. The fact that she had said "our" family, instead of "my" family, meant more to me than any of the rest of her words.

"You- You're welcome." I stuttered in reply. "And please don't apologize. I'm the one who jumped."

"After I talked to Rosalie, I only had one thing on my mind." Edward picked up the story. "I went to Volterra.

"The Volturi had more than one reason for refusing my request that they destroy me." If anyone saw me flinch at his words, they ignored it. "Our coven - and that's exactly what we are to them, they can't see us as a family - is the biggest and most powerful in the world apart from theirs. They don't want a conflict with us.

"They had cause to come after us last spring when we destroyed James to protect you. That was a crime in their eyes, but a forgivable one if it meant keeping peace.

"If it weren't for their history with Carlisle, and their determination to avoid a conflict with his coven, they would not have hesitated to destroy me. That is what saved me in the beginning, before they knew you were alive… and before Demetri."

"Let me tell that part." Jasper spoke from the corner.

Edward fell quiet and nodded.

"You know that Lazarro is Demetri's nephew. You know that he was acting to protect him. You feel… confused though." Jasper wasn't asking, he was stating facts, and accurately.

I nodded.

"Demetri is the most powerful vampire we have ever encountered." Jasper matched Edward's calm tone, but like Edward, he was watching my expression carefully. "His talents are beyond anything we have ever seen or imagined. If it weren't for Edward's talent, we, like the Volturi, might not know what we we're dealing with."

Jasper felt my surprise. "But -" I tried to collect my thoughts, and they waited patiently. "What could Edward know that Aro wouldn't? I mean… What are his talents? What do you mean?"

Edward squeezed my hand. "Aro and I have the similar ability to access the mind, but that's where the similarities end. I can hear thoughts without physical contact, but only those thoughts that are passing through a person's mind at the moment. Aro, with physical contact, can access any part of the mind that he wants."

"I still don't understand." I tried to sort through the information I had, but couldn't make sense of the conversation. "I saw Aro and Demetri touch, I saw him read Demetri's thoughts and then Aro told Alec that…" I replayed the scenes in Aro's chamber in my head with a shudder. Nothing was adding up.

"We'll explain." Jasper felt my confusion, my inability to put the pieces together. He nodded to Carlisle who was next to speak.

"You see Bella, everyone's mind works differently. Some people see in pictures and colors, and others are more analytical." He glanced at Edward, who knew this only too well, and smiled. "These differences are present in the human mind, but are even sharper and more varied among our kind. Aro is used to these variations. He has had access to many different minds and knows that some people's thoughts can be more vague than others. Some memories are more vivid. With Demetri, the memories are very, very difficult to see. They are more… sensations, than actual thoughts. Aro thinks this stems from his talents as a tracker. He believes that Demetri's mind is strongly ruled by instinct and sensation."

"But he's wrong?" I asked.

"Yes." Carlisle had an expression of excitement and fascination. "While it's true that Demetri has a heightened sense of… let's call it instinct, which makes him an unmatched tracker; that isn't why his thoughts and memories are harder for Aro to access. Demetri has a shield; some sort of mental blocker that makes it possible for him to control what part of his mind and what memories Aro can see.

"It takes great preparation and concentration to use this talent, which is why he was unable to hide his thoughts from Edward, who can see them as they're passing through his mind. He hasn't been a vampire, or part of the Volturi's coven, for very long in our terms. This particular ability is one that he's been able to hide from the Volturi thus far."

"If he's so powerful, why isn't he one of their leaders?" It seemed to me that a vampire with so many abilities, with so much power, would seek a place at the head of the Volturi.

"The thought hasn't occurred to him." Carlisle replied.

"Until recently," Edward finished with a small smile.

"So that's why the Volturi couldn't find Lazarro," the pieces were beginning to come together in my head, "because Demetri was shielding him in his mind?"

"Exactly." Edward seemed pleased that I was catching on so quickly.

"So what Aro saw in his head, there at the end - about my blood singing for him- was that true?"

"Yes." Edward's voice was hesitant and made me want to see his face. I looked up to read the expression in his eyes as he squeezed my hand and stood beside me. What I saw there made my blood run cold.


	24. Chapter 24

**Alice's POV **

The future isn't set in stone. All it takes is one decision. No one knows this better than me.

My family was divided. We couldn't decide whether or not to tell Bella everything. I, for one, didn't think we should.

I loved Bella in a desperate sort of way. I was desperate for her to become one of us, desperate for the permanence of our sisterhood, desperate for my brother to have the same eternity that the rest of us had. I was impatient for it all to begin. Maybe it was because I had lived with a vision of how our family could be for too long. I was tired of waiting, and when our life as a larger family finally began, I didn't want this shadow to darken our past. I wanted Bella to be flawlessly happy.

Besides all of that though, I had another reason for wanting to save Bella from the truth.

The moment that Edward made the decision to tell her, I had a vision of Bella's funeral. Charlie in black, sobbing over his daughter's grave. The humans hugging one another, even Carlisle's somber face…

One of the most frustrating things about my ability is that I hardly ever get to see the events leading up to the outcomes in the future. I never get to see what part of the decisions we make result in the visions I experience. I only get to see the end result, and even that is subject to change at any moment.

Edward needed Bella to have the truth, and I understood… to a point.

I didn't tell him about the vision. With all that was happening he was too distracted to hear it in my thoughts. If he did it would only make things worse, and to be honest, I didn't have any way of knowing if the vision was just a coincidence; one of those flighty passing visions that vanished in time… or if it was absolute. If the first, it wouldn't matter anyway. If the second… I didn't see how sharing it with them would fix anything. I just had to get to the bottom of it. Alone, for now.

Jasper sensed my anxiety as he stood against the wall across from me. But with Bella in the room between us, he was too busy trying to sooth her to realize the depth of the emotion. Besides, we were _all_ anxious. He could feel the room seething in anxiety.

Edward was calmly trying to explain Demetri's power to Bella. The way his mind worked and the way he hid it from the Volturi.

"Everyone's mind works differently." He explained, "Some people see in pictures, some people see in words and scents, some people have stronger memories than others, and especially among our kind, with our varied talents and senses, our minds work in many different ways. That's why it's so easy for Demetri to use his power. It's like a shield, a wall that he can put up in his mind around some thoughts to keep Aro out. I suspect it's very much like the shield that protects your thoughts, only not as strong."

Bella was concentrating on his words, a little frown was visible between her eyes. "I understand." She nodded, "But then… if his thoughts were shielded, the ones about Lazarro and me, then why were you able to hear them?"

"Because my ability allows me to hear what's passing through the mind at the time, and Demetri wanted me to hear them. The way Aro's ability works, allows Demetri warning and preparation, so that he is able to hide his thoughts before Aro makes skin to skin contact."

Bella nodded again. "I wondered about that. Lazarro told me that he had been to Volterra and spoke to his uncle. I wondered why Aro hadn't come after Lazarro."

"Demetri hates the Volturi." Edward explained, "The only reason he's still there is because he wants to protect his family. He's only just now realizing the power that he has."

"I thought you said that it was almost impossible for a vampire to overcome his need for a singer's blood." Bella's thoughts were already moving forward. Her human eyes probably wouldn't see it, but we all tensed a little. I saw one of Rosalie's long nails poke all the way through the arm of the couch before she forced her hand to relax.

"That's right." Edward replied. "But he would never hurt you now," his eyes rested on her broken hand, "not after what you went through for his family."

Bella nodded, still concentrating, "But won't Aro notice something is up if Demetri's memory of killing me is missing? Won't he suspect that Demetri's keeping him out? Or that it didn't actually happen?"

We were silent. I wasn't sure if Bella was making it easier or harder. She was always more perceptive than we gave her credit for.

I looked at Jasper, who was still concentrating on every fluctuating wave of Bella's emotions. He was moving forward, probably without even realizing it. He approached the back of her chair, ready to rest a calming hand on the top of her head when the time came.

Edward glanced at me before moving so that he was kneeling right in front of her. He took her good hand and rubbed it soothingly.

"Demetri can't create memories, he can only block them." He paused while this sunk in. "We couldn't risk suspicion Bella. Demetri knew what that would cost everyone, him most of all, so he did the only thing we could."

None of us kept up the pretense of breathing. The room was silent and still as we waited for Bella to comprehend.

She was searching Edward's face. Her eyes wide with alarm and confusion. I watched her frown, searching her memory of the recent past for clues to help her. "I…" she swallowed, "I don't understand."

Edward waited a moment, and that was all it took. Suddenly Bella's confusion turned to horror. She shook her head in denial.

"No." She whispered.

"It was the only way." Edward was nearly pleading.

"I know someone…" Bella quoted Demetri in a horrified whisper. "I think it will work." Her breath quickened. "He didn't." She continued to shake her head. "You didn't let him."

"We had to Bella." Edward was still rubbing her hand, trying to soothe her. "He had to have the memory of killing you, otherwise we would all be in danger. Lazarro included." He was speaking desperately. "Demetri isn't like us Bella, he's killed hundreds of humans, it doesn't mean anything."

Bella paled. "It doesn't _mean_ anything?" She was trembling all over, but she pulled her hand away from Edward's and rose, shaking, to her feet. "Did she look like me?" He voice broke. "He chose to kill her because she looked like me?"

Nobody answered. I looked over to Carlisle and saw that he looked ashamed. At the time, it had felt like the only way. We had all been relieved that Demetri knew of an Italian girl who's blood smelled slightly floral and who's hair was just like Bella's. It had made sense that she should die to save Bella. Bella was family. Demetri, or one of the others, would probably have killed the girl anyway. It wasn't a pleasant notion. If there had been another way, we would have found it. There wasn't. The simple fact that Carlisle was willing to go to this extreme was a testament to how desperate we were.

Now, with Bella looking at us like this, like the monsters we devoted our existence to trying not to be, it didn't seem like the right decision. It didn't feel like there was a way to make her see, to make her understand.

"What was her name?" Her voice shook, tears were beginning to run down her face as she cried silently. Whatever I had imagined her first question to be, this wasn't it.

"I don't know." I couldn't see Edward's face, but I could hear the grief and terror in his voice.

Carlisle surprised us all by answering wearily. "Katarina." He looked away from Bella's face to gaze sadly at us all. "I asked Demetri to tell me, if he knew… I wanted to do something for her family."

Bella's voice was barely a whisper. "She had _family_?" We could all see the effort it took for her to even get the words out.

I looked pointedly at Jasper. He nodded and came around the chair toward her, intending to calm her with his touch. She was standing in front of the chair now, near the middle of the room. Edward kept a careful distance after she pulled her hand away. I could see the effort it was costing him not to gather her into his arms and hold her close. She looked so frightened and vulnerable. Even weak.

Jasper's long fingers barely brushed her shoulder. She jumped away and shrieked, almost hysterically, "Don't _touch_ me."

Jasper stepped back, shocked.

Bella looked almost wild-eyed as she looked around the room accusingly. "How could you do this?" Her eyes rested on me and for the first time since we'd met, I saw fear and betrayal in them.

Then she turned to Edward and a fresh sob escaped. "How could you let this happen?" She was searching his face. "Why?"

"Bella please." His voice broke. "If there had been any other way…" He stepped toward her with his hand extended.

She shook her head. "I can't." I realized she was headed for the door. "I can't." She repeated between sobs.

I went to Jasper. I took his hand, knowing that as bad as I was feeling, he was feeling the same multiplied by eight. He squeezed my fingers. I knew he was acknowledging that I had been right. Telling her had been a mistake. I felt too miserable to feel smug about it.

Bella made it, stumbling to the door. The others had risen to their feet, but only Edward moved.

She turned around and looked at Carlisle, devastated. "You were supposed to be different." She accused, still weeping, and then she left with Edward right behind her.

I moved toward the door as well, pulling Jasper with me.

"No Alice." Carlisle shook his head sadly and put a restraining hand on my arm. "Let them be for a little while. She needs time."

Esme came and put her arms around him. "She'll come to understand." She said sadly, but confidently. "If there had been another way Carlisle, beloved, you would have found it."

_Angela Weber wiped a tear from her cheek and cleared her throat. The high school's gymnasium was filled with what looked like the entire town. A picture of Bella and an arrangement of white lilies flanked the stand as Angela's soft voice echoed through the respectful silence, "The Lord is my Sheppard," she began, " I shall not want…" _


	25. Chapter 25

I couldn't get the door open. The hallway was silent except for my sobs and my fists banging uselessly on the hotel room door. A cold white hand slipped over my shoulder and put the swipe key-card in the slot. A low beep sounded as he pulled the swipe key out and twisted the latch.

I hadn't even heard him follow me. I was too sick to wonder how I felt about it. How could they have done this, let this happen? I bolted into the room and headed straight for the bathroom feeling like I was going to throw up. I closed the door, but didn't lock it, knowing that he could come in anyway if he wanted to. I leaned over the toilet and retched. I stayed like that for a few minutes before I heard his voice.

"Bella?" His voice sounded anxiously from the other side of the door.

I couldn't get the vision from my dream out of my mind. A dark alley, a hooded figure advancing on an unsuspecting victim. Only this time the victim's hair was chestnut, not honey. It was Katarina, a stranger, not Angela. I threw up again.

His voice turned pleading. "Bella please? Are you alright?"

I was so confused. How could I blame them for something they, technically, hadn't done? And yet, how could they stand by and let an innocent stranger die in my place?

I thought of Edward. Of how he loved me. Of how I had once thought him to be a superhero and of his reply "what if I'm not the hero". He had tried to warn me but I hadn't listened. Deep down inside though I knew he had gone along with it only because he loved me and couldn't bear to loose me again. Still the betrayal stung.

I went to the door and opened it, knowing there was no alternative.

He arms were around me in an instant, pulling me into his chest. "Bella, Bella, Bella." He said my name over and over, rubbing my shoulders and holding me tightly. I wept into his chest soaking his shirt.

After a long moment he held me away from him so he could read my face. "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't say, 'it's okay.' I couldn't say anything. I couldn't let it go. I couldn't forgive him; not yet anyway.

"I should have known you would feel this way." He pulled me back to him, and I didn't fight it. "I had to tell you though, Bella, you had to know the truth. You have to believe that it was the only way to save you. Do you think I'm a monster for wanting that?"

I still couldn't find any words. I needed time to think. The last few days felt like weeks. Months. Years. Too much had happened. I needed to be alone to sort through everything; my feelings, my options, my future. I couldn't think with his eyes penetrating mine, with his scent clouding my thoughts, and his stone arms holding my heart.

"Alice said you wouldn't understand, that it would be too much." He continued. "She didn't want us to tell you, she said that it would be a mistake, that it would hurt you." He murmured into my hair and he held me. "Please tell me it was right. That telling you was the right thing to do."

"It was right." I knew this for certain. I would have found out eventually. It would have hurt more to find out later, some other way. I was grateful, at least, for his honesty. "I'm glad you told me. I just wish…"

"I know." He whispered, when my voice trailed off. "I'm so sorry."

"Edward." I pulled away, feeling more in control of myself; having just made my decision. "I need time to think."

I saw the worry and panic in his eyes. "You want me to leave?"

"No." I said slowly. This was going to hurt us both, but we were being honest. Even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew it was right. Excruciating, but right.

"I just…" I tried to get my bearings. "So much has happened lately, I just… I need to sort it all out. I need to know, for certain, how I feel about it."

He was searching my face. "Have your feelings for me changed?" His careful mask was in place, his eyes and voice unreadable.

"I don't think so, no." How could I say this so that he would understand? "A week ago I was putting my life back together. I was… not happy, but I was getting there. I was so certain that you didn't want me anymore. And now… It's just a lot to take in. The fact that you left me because you thought it would keep me safe. That alone. Even without the Volturi and Demetri and Lazarro and the torture and Katarina." Her name burned my throat on the way out. "None of it is sinking in. I just need time to process."

"I understand." He said it carefully, "What do you need to do?"

"I need time to sort through this. I think I am going to take Charlie's advice and visit Renee. Just for a week or so."

"Alone?" He couldn't keep the mask in place, it wavered, and I caught the pain and sadness in his eyes.

"Yes." I looked down, unable to bare that look any longer.

"Bella…" He let me step away but reached for my hand.

"I just think it would be best." I said as I started to throw my clothes in my bag.

"Look at me." I did. And it was more than sadness now, it was fear. "Have we not spent enough time apart? I can't bear to let you go."

"It's just a week." I had to stay strong but I couldn't help feeling the injustice of it. He had left me once, without explanation.

"I can understand you needing time to think, but _please_, let me come with you. I really don't think I could survive another day without you, without your face. I need you so much Bella." The last part was barely above a whisper.

My heart skipped a beat, or five, but I had made my decision.

"Please understand I need to do this and I need to do it alone." I tried to hold back the tears and the knowledge that I didn't know how I was going to survive another day without his face either. But I had something I hadn't had before, and it was the knowledge that he'd never stopped loving me. He'd only left because he thought it would be best. I was doing the same thing.

I was throwing my meager belongs into my duffle-bag. The only way to survive this was to keep moving. I had always thought that making decisions was harder than following through on one that I'd made, but now I was reconsidering – this was going to be more than difficult, it was going to be near impossible.

He was beside me in an instant, reaching for my shoulder to hold me in place. "Please." He whispered. "Please don't run away from me."

I froze and couldn't look up, I toyed with a balled up sock I'd just picked up. "I'm not." I wasn't sure whether or not that was true. In a way I was running. It wasn't the way I usually approached a problem, but I couldn't face them, any of them.

For the first time since I'd met them I couldn't see them as the angels they had once been in my eyes – the very best the human or vampire world had to offer – instead I could see a flicker of the demons that Edward always claimed to be. How could they be so callous? It was my own fault. It was a possibility that my mind had always refused to grasp, to understand… to accept.

A small part of me felt guilty that I wasn't disgusted by him. A small part of me didn't want to be comforted by his touch. A small part of me questioned whether or not I could still desire to be part of his world, part of the family who had condoned such a horrible act. But what disturbed me most of all, was that it was only the _small_ part of me that felt this way.

I knew my going back to Forks with them would only make things more complicated. Their relationship with the wolves, Victoria, Charlie, Jacob… If I didn't stop and think now, I knew I would miss my chance. I would get swept into this world of myth and magic without a choice or a look back. This was my opportunity to take a step back and a deep breath. I was at a crossroads, _the_ crossroads, of my life. My decisions would affect more than just me. This was the climax of my existence. I could feel it.

Renee, despite her wild, care-free, harried life-style, was my rock. I could think clearly in her presence. I could feel loved unconditionally and peacefully. I could find a balance and the right answer.

There would be no goodbyes here, I couldn't face them now. I knew they would understand and accept my decision. All but one.

"Don't make this hard Edward." I reached up and put my hand over his on my shoulder. You can all go back to Forks and… get settled. I'll meet you there." I tried to smile. I could see he wasn't going to make it easy. "I have to."

He was watching me so intensely. "If that's what you need to do." He picked my bag up off the bed. "At least let me take you to the airport."

I nodded.

He let go of me and lead the way to the door, defeated.

"Edward." I hated the distance between us. He turned to look at me sadly. "I'm not doing this to hurt you."

His crooked smile was a little off, his arms as they came back to wrap around me were a little too tense. "I know love. I just wish I hadn't messed things up so completely."

"It's not your fault." I whispered, "This is just how life is for us."

"You have to come back to me." The desperation in his voice shot straight through my heart.

I didn't know what to say.


End file.
